living in a hole for far too long now.

ever since I could remember, I have been fascinated with enclosed spaces. when I see a sling bag, with a singular flap as the cover, I wonder how nice it would be to be in that bag. comfortably ensconced inside, protected from the elements while feeling nice and cosy. I think about patrick's house, from spongebob squarepants. he basically lives under a rock and I recall thinking his house is the best of the 3 that are adjacent to each other.

how nice it would be to momentarily cast aside all worries and fears and doubt and anxiety, leave them just outside, jump into the hole and cover it with a rock (like patrick's place).

I don't quite know how to continue. too much inner angst building within, clouding my thought processes.

it only just occurred to me that was exactly what I sought to do after ORD. the carefully thought out plan to not work, and focus on other learning experiences. it was essentially me striving to lead some carefree life.

okay train of thought completely lost here.

not a good night. or a good day.

blah.