along the cobbled sidewalks of life

Saturday, December 31, 2011

(not the best of reflections, but it's honest at least?)

This is it.

This is the last day of 2011.

It is time to reflect upon yet another year, one which is quite possibly the most eventful.

The beginning and The End of 2011 could not be so different.

A year ago, I found myself facing a further 16 months to that much anticipated date. A year on and it seems so much within my grasp that I can almost smell it.

A year ago, I was but an admin support assistant. Slightly ignorant and naive to the things that happened beyond the walls of my air-conditioned office. Now, I have experienced so many different facets of the world that was a mystery to me just a year ago.

I started out as a mere admin support assistant happily clearing his off, using it to return to the one and only track to build up his fitness. With anxiety, I made my way to the island to embark upon a journey that all must go through. Back to Basics. Excel Through Basics. Four months of the best life one could possibly and reasonably ask for. I managed to learn so much more, be exposed to worlds I only heard about, even those I did not know exist. I like to believe I really grew a lot. oh and managed to pick up a company best pt on the way.

Fraught with nervousness, I moved on to the next phase of my journey. Upon reflection, it was the best 8 weeks of my combat training. Again, I believe I had possibly one of the best life one could ask for in the situation. While I did switch off significantly, letting opportunities pass me by, I did inevitably grow from the experience. managed to pick up another company best pt.

With much uncertainty, I proceeded to my next phase, one that really surprised me. Now I understand the phrase "never in my wildest dreams". Possibly the most fulfilling phase of this year! There was simply so much to learn, so many lessons taught, so much to glean from everything! My only fear is that I will not be able to retain whatever I have gained. It would be such a pity. fell just short of best pt, like how I fell short of best knowledge, but it is enough that I managed to pick up the golden bayonet.

I admit it is a little narcissistic to say all of the following. I am happy that from my six months of spec training, I have some items to pass of as achievements. a foundation term road relay champion medal, the knowledge of being the foundation term company best pt (unfortunately no tangible rewards), an inter-formation tug-of-war bronze trophy, an inter-formation 4x 400m champion trophy, a combined arms term tag rugby champion medal, and finally a professional term golden bayonet. never once have I seen gold so often in such a short period haha.

After all has been said and done, there is only one thing left to wrap up this recollection of my training.

God has been in every single moment!

The postings I received right from the get go have always been rather favourable. In a very general sense, I may have excelled in where I have been but it was never possible without Him. there are so many (pivotal) moments where His grace and mercy were what pulled me through. Everything that I have achieved should be to His glory.

I'm just not sure if I have done that.
I'm sure I have certainly not shown the gratitude that He deserves.

new year resolution.

~~~

I like to think of 2011 as a defining year with regards to my social life.
Being away from home more often than previously, being tested in ways I am not entirely conditioned to, I begin to have a clearer awareness of my needs, and those who were there to meet them.
I am not sure of what is to stay or what is to go, or has yet to be released, but I like to think there is a greater clarity. that's all.

~~~

Circumstances of 2011 has led me to become such an inward-looking fool.

With a year of selfishly looking inside, with the heightened awareness of my strengths and weakness, with the greater clarity achieved with regards to my needs, with a sobering view of what I have done, may I simply grow better.

As I look forward to 2012, I find myself already missing 2011.

whimsical nonsense @ 10:52 PM

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Saturday, December 24, 2011

Don't wish, don't start,
Wishing only wounds the heart.
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl.
There's a girl I know,
He loves her so,
I'm not that girl.

I'm Not That Girl - Wicked

whimsical nonsense @ 11:48 AM

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Sunday, December 18, 2011

11 July 2011. The Beginning.
16 Dec 2011. The Finish.

It did not quite begin so well. I like to think it ended on a high note.

A massive journey.
I have no regrets. I have learnt a lot.

Now is the time to put the lessons to use.

Mental Block.

yesterday evening was nice. I liked it.
just saying.

whimsical nonsense @ 10:00 AM

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Sunday, December 11, 2011

1 more week.

need to enjoy it as much as I can.
there is a part of me that simply wishes time would fast forward and bring me to one week from now.

the pressure is tremendous. I already disappointed once, in a huge way.
it really makes me question, was that really what I wanted all along?

a most bizarre week and weekend.

exceedingly frustrating.

whimsical nonsense @ 6:42 PM

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Sunday, December 04, 2011

I have a new view towards Asian movies now.

It's not that I never liked them before, but it seems like I cannot dismiss them as callously as before.

The reason for saying all this is because I just watched You Are The Apple Of My Eye, a taiwanese film.

Along with thai films Hello Stranger, and Suckseed, I found myself being profoundly impacted by the movie. It just seems like I am able to connect with it.

I guess it is no coincidence that they are all romantic films.
but it does make me wonder why it is that I don't feel the same way about western films of the same genre.

ah well.
it may not be anything. since it doesn't mean I like all asian romantic films.

Just those three I mentioned.

whimsical nonsense @ 4:43 AM

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I am humbled.
and honoured.

I'll admit though, that I am happy.

there were times when pride crossed into arrogance,
but all in all I can only realise how undeserving I am.

undeserving of this goodness that is shown to me.

I am thankful.
and grateful.

whimsical nonsense @ 3:39 AM

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