along the cobbled sidewalks of life

Sunday, November 27, 2011

MLM.

Down.
so glad it is finally over.

whimsical nonsense @ 5:27 PM

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Sunday, November 13, 2011

11/11/11, 1111hrs. (and 11 seconds).

That was kind of the highlight of the week, to be honest.
you would think of all the activities inside, and outside, would be far more significant, but yet they find themselves behind such a trivial thing.

Alright so I exaggerate. 12/11/11 was a bigger event.
wedding/wedding anniversary/death anniversary all rolled into one day.

But twelve 1s!
it was a rare sight to see my watch just have the number 1 in the entire screen.

Evidently my brain is dead.

~~~

feeling a little lost here. need some kind of direction.
feeling a little disoriented. need some kind of stability.
feeling a little lonely. need some kind of company.
feeling a little inadequate. need some kind of ability.

There was one particular MIB (men in black) episode where the alien was this figure slightly bigger than the size of one's palm. How it stayed incognito in this human world was that it built life-sized robots with incredible human resemblance. These palm-sized aliens then controlled the robot from the control room located in the "head" of the robots.

I don't remember much, except the scene where the 2 MIB guys moved one of the ears and the face opened up like a door on its hinges. Where the brain should have been, the alien was there, seated in a chair with various controls and joysticks.

Right now, I feel like that alien.
I feel like a separate being, watching everything from inside the head of this body I find myself in.

Except a virus has override all systems and I, the alien behind the controls, have lost control over this body.

I am now reduced to being an audience to the world outside, stuck in a claustrophobic capsule, and immensely bored. after all, I am merely sitting and watching, and what I see isn't even entertaining at all.

butthenagainevenifiamincontroliwouldnotknowwhattodowithit.

there is a particular person I miss.

whimsical nonsense @ 6:26 PM

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Monday, November 07, 2011

"It was a dark and stormy night."

alright I lie.
as I'm typing this, the weather outside my window is fantastic!
there is a nice cool breeze blowing right through the grills and cooling this small space of mine.
the sky is a bright blue with white all over, either in streaks or puffy shapes.
and the wind just caused the aroma of my mother's fish curry to waft in.
time check: 1830hrs.

what a glorious evening!

now I'm filled with regret (alright not really) and guilt that I was too lazy to run.
I cannot quite imagine how incredible it would be to have strapped on those striking yellow asics trainers of mine and went on a comfortable 6km run.
just to pound the pavement, giving my legs the stretch it needs and feeling the wind in my face, taking in the views of the chinese garden lake.

ah well. I shall just have to look out and see the occasional jogger going past and live vicariously through then.

the guilt.

~~~

9 weeks down. 5 more to go. things are going to be ramped up now.
somehow there is a sense of trepidation.
I won't deny that I'm scared.
afraid of what is to come. afraid of what will happen.
scared of how I will react, and more so what kind of person I will become.

I just watched The Fox And The Hound.
in one scene, Big Mama said "forever is a long, long time" (if I remember correctly).
then it struck me, yes.
forever is for a really long time.

time to set my eyes on what is forever, rather than what is temporal.

help me God.
I know it is not easy.

whimsical nonsense @ 6:43 PM

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