along the cobbled sidewalks of life

Sunday, July 31, 2011

three weeks down. six more to go.

on hindsight, time really does seem to move a little faster than before. this is probably due to perspective. within the space of a mere three weeks, a third of this training phase is over. unlike the previous phase where three weeks was not even a quarter-way through. hopefully at the end of the remaining six weeks, I will find myself contented with where the following thirteen weeks will bring me.

on a random note, by chance I ended up on some kind of retail therapy and bought a few things. I am most excited about the purchase of my fourth pair of asics shoes! despite my previous two trainers being GT 2110 and GT 2130, somehow the GT 2160 did not feel quite as comfortable. hm. I went with the DS Trainers, which happens to be my first pair of trainers (meant primarily for running) that is not white/grey based! I quite like the bright yellow that adorns the shoes. shall wait till next weekend to start clocking up some mileage with it.

one more thing to look forward to during the course of the week.

Question: Somehow or another, we will always be looking forward to something, be it the quiet evening at home after a hard day's work or a party with friends. Time simply chugs on. You wait with anticipation, you welcome it with cheer and you enjoy the moment thoroughly.
What happens after it has ended?

does one then move on to look forward to something else? perhaps the end of the next day, and the end of the following day as well?

it seems that all the things I look forward to are temporal and insignificant in this world.

where are my eyes turned to?
where should they be instead?

Where should I be?

whimsical nonsense @ 2:17 AM

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Saturday, July 16, 2011

it was a good break. arguably one of the best in a long while.

what made it so good?

was it the events of that week?
was it because of what transcended prior to the week?

Is happiness derived from the reward in and of itself, or does it stem from the hardwork put in before?

~~~

I am no longer sure who I am anymore. A change of such a drastic degree has overcome me within a short span of time, that I wonder what could be the cause of it.

Did I change into something I am not.
or
Did I revert back into who I really am?

Was everything I did earlier, a lie?

whimsical nonsense @ 2:08 AM

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Wednesday, July 06, 2011

few and far between.

this space has been neglected.

my dying macbook is being neglected. probably due to the fact that it cannot connect to the wireless network in the living room for some strange reason. or that I simply do not spend as much time at home anymore, well not enough to spend it on the computer. or that I have an itouch to surf the net with (if I'm at home) or my blackberry if I'm out.

or a combination of all.

the primary, if not sole reason, for the maintenance of this blog is for it to become a documentary of sorts of my life. there is a significant amount of "history" in this space that my sentimental self is not too willing to relinquish. moreover, there is so much I could learn from reading my archives.

~~~

and so my BMT is finally over, all 17 weeks of it. and I am in the midst of enjoying a week's break.

sure, there were moments where I questioned the wisdom of recoursing. I still do.
however at the very least, regardless of what happens this friday, I have to admit and acknowledge the great learning experience it has been.

my brain is not used to being up at this hour, hence my inability to bring up what I want to say. I just know it's somewhere inside, but I can't seem to extract the bits stuck firmly inside.

it has been an incredible 17 weeks of learning.
about military-related things.
about society, collectively.
about people; group dynamics and individual personalities.
about self.

it is a little scary.
sometimes it feels like it is best to remain ignorant.

but then again, as Sewell pointed out in Black Beauty, ignorance is the devil's trademark (or something similar to it).

whimsical nonsense @ 11:51 PM

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