along the cobbled sidewalks of life

Monday, October 25, 2010

just a continuation of my teenage rants about life. following the complaint that I'm not doing anything.

it is amazing how easy ideas form in the brain.
it is even more amazing how difficult it is for these ideas to take any other form.

suppose I create a list, one that displays the things I would like to do in clear black and white, would it help?
or would it merely cause me to be contented at creating a list. I'm afraid I would simply say, "well I've got my list written out now. that's the first step of my thousand-mile journey" and funnily enough be stuck at that very first step.

curse that thing called complacency!

on a completely irrelevant side note, I find myself adjusting somewhat well to the life I struggled so desperately to adapt to just a few months back. it may be sad that I'm no longer fighting against the tide (of loss) but it seems so much easier to go with the flow.

it's easier to go with the flow.
just like it's easier to have ideas than to act on them.

this lifestyle of taking the easy way out is becoming too comfortable.
ironically too close for comfort.

I fear the day I can't go any where else besides the easy way.

whimsical nonsense @ 11:45 PM

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Thursday, October 21, 2010

I really wish I had artistic talent - there are so many things I wish I could draw.

I see pictures in different styles, and I feel this great yearning within to be able to replicate the style.

so much wishing. so much thinking.
very little doing.

and that pretty much sums up my dull unexciting life.

whimsical nonsense @ 10:13 PM

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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

and so I find myself returning to the peculiar state of seemingly living in third-person.

I watch my life unfold before me, without any conscious decision being made on my part - everything simply happens.

well, at least I get front row seats. you can't ask for more, can you?

whimsical nonsense @ 10:55 PM

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Saturday, October 16, 2010

thankfully, what started out as a poor week ended on a relatively high note.
perhaps it had to do with the fact that I did not go to the office on the last day of the week!

spent most part of this extra day to walk. it was an insane amount of walking, with a load. it's definitely not even half as bad as the route marches my peers have gone/will go through, but for an unfit, unconditioned poor soul, it was difficult. before long the aches started to sneak in, as the cash flowed out. unfortunately ):

seriously spent way too much today. kept telling myself since I'm all the way there, I might as well spend. there is a very small, next to impossible chance that I'll be there again. I probably won't spend my off to revisit a place I've gone to unless it's with someone. I might make an exception for that, depending on who haha

I guess I can be grateful that there are a few things in life that are for free. such as sight! and while getting a camera and charging the battery costs money, shooting pictures with the camera doesn't. for that I'm highly grateful.

I'm still stuck in the low ranks of beginners and ignorant amateurs, but I'm really hoping at least some pictures will turn out good. it's really too difficult to judge on the viewfinder, especially with overhead sunlight making it difficult to see anything at all, much less evaluate how the picture turn out (to see if there's a need to alter the settings and do a retake). it was a good experience. I'm hoping I'll be able to put "learning" between the "good" and "experience" but I'll just have to wait until I can look at the pictures properly.

well, it's time to work life on a budget. I tell myself that all the time.
strange how these things never seem to work out.

plans almost always fail to be executed exactly as planned.
awry is the expected.

things turning out way better than planned,
that's unexpected.
and for once, the unexpected is good.

whimsical nonsense @ 1:00 AM

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Monday, October 11, 2010

monday blues.

I've never felt them as intensely as today. it's not so much the blues of sadness but rather the blues referring to an extremely difficult situation.

as the hongmonster said, it appears that the cosmic forces of the universe were against me. thankfully I have a pirate among the stars, and pretty soon the stars will realign against me and everything will be alright (:

well that's the plan anyway. and plans almost always go awry.

this week doesn't promise to be a good week.

the work is piling up.
as it always is. so that's not too bad.

the week has only just started and it's already become unbearable.
but it isn't the first week where monday blues really strike right home.

the self had to function on just a mere 3+ hours of sleep, seriously inhibiting normal functionality.
but the self has gone through worse and come out still alive, or at least surviving.

the aircon completely died and refused to be revived for most of the day.
and that just killed off any desire to do work.
one breaks out into an uncomfortable warm sweat just by sitting in the swivel chair and not moving at all. don't even talk about working.
the air was unbearably warm and stuffy, and the comfort level was dipping into the negatives.

the plumbing of the building has been spoilt for a while. no functioning tap, toilet flushes and all. just another level of inconvenience.

I had to go through all that with a stiff neck. the poor result of raving rabbids. honestly I have no idea how it came about.
but yes the stiff neck made sure any remaining threads of desire to do work were laid to rest.

my language is failing me.

whimsical nonsense @ 11:19 PM

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Thursday, October 07, 2010

just watched The Blind Side.

so I'm about a year late. but then again I'm late for just about anything. but I digress from the reason why I'm typing a post.

one should note that this post is slightly biased, since feelings about a movie are usually enhanced when one has just watched it.

The Blind Side brings about an additional dimension to the term "heartwarming".

tt was simply filled with sweet moments, which seek to bring out the tears that are the result of a touched heart. I was fearful while watching that there may come an unhappy ending, to burst that feel-good bubble that was growing with each passing minute. thankfully it didn't.

there was a happy ending. one that would make a fairy-tale proud.

I'm glad I caught this show. however dramatized it may be, I'd like to think that I saw a glimpse of the potential of human beings. don't burst the happy bubble I'm living inside at this very present moment, thank you.

by tomorrow, it's back to the harsh realities of this world.
but perhaps there might be a slight spring in my step, as I remind myself that as long as the sun shines in the morning sky, there is a dawn.

where there is dawn, there is hope.
when there is hope, you know you have something worth being patient for.

whimsical nonsense @ 11:42 PM

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Tuesday, October 05, 2010

I don't think I'm able to "multi-task" anymore. It is becoming increasingly difficult to do anything outside of what I'm doing in the office that requires any use of my limited mental capacity.

although the line between work (in the office) and anything else outside is rather clear, I just find myself going home and trying to lose myself in all things unrelated to the office; purging myself of the day's experiences momentarily, only to be revived the following day.

perhaps it's purely laziness. I simply want to return home and slack my time away. yes that's probably it.

but it doesn't change the fact that I'm unable to commit myself properly. I don't know how others do it. how others, especially adults in the real working world, are able to handle their job commitments and still do things outside of their office. such as helping out in church ministries, or in some committee. it baffles me.

clearly I still have a lot to learn.
perhaps too much.
but that applies to everyone. our learning is never complete.

the scary thing is, I seem to have lost the desire for continual learning.
it seems I am contented to stagnate at the miserable state that I am in right now.

thinking about it really frightens me.

whimsical nonsense @ 11:15 PM

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Saturday, October 02, 2010

I DON'T LIKE MY BLOG'S BACKGROUND. I'M GOING TO CHANGE IT ONE DAY.

I DON'T LIKE LIFE
NOW. NOT REALLY.

but there really isn't much one can do about it.
except to trudge right on.

whimsical nonsense @ 11:32 PM

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