Thursday, April 29, 2010
they say this is a new chapter in a man's life.
i think my chapter started prematurely.
here's wishing it doesn't end prematurely either.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:10 PM
-------
Sunday, April 25, 2010
lately life has been devoid of inspiration.
it has just been one flat plain.
perhaps that is what happens when you don't use your brain much.
so many things seem so meaningless. you just go through the motions of life. there is nothing exciting happening. no spark to start a fire of thoughts going. no singular drop of water to cause a ripple effect. everything is still.
maybe it is time for a change of lifestyle. i do have some ideas floating in my head. as always they shall remain intangible and nonexistent until i do something about them. historical trends tell me i shouldn't put my money on that.
now i really wish i had that chalkboard i so desired but couldn't get.
i just watched vicky cristina barcelona.
i need shows like that to keep me company.
it's absolutely lovely company.
to watch such shows, alone in your room in a quiet evening.
sometimes i have no idea what i'm doing.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:37 PM
-------
the grass is always greener on the other side.
what a true statement.
even when it is said by the men on both sides of the wall.
i wonder why that's the case.
it seems we will almost never, or never at all, be content with what we have.
i suppose the grass will always be greener on the other side, until we live in a world where everything is perfect.
as long as we're stuck in this world corrupted by sin, made worse by our indulgence in it, there will be aspects that we dislike. hate even.
as long as there are cons, we will always look for the missing pros.
wait i'm not making relevant sense. if any at all.
as long as there are things we are unhappy with on our side of the wall, we will always look at the presumably better things on the other side. foolishly making the assumption that what is good on this side will be present too on the opposite side.
when at work, i wish i wasn't working.
when wasting life away at home, sometimes i wish i had a little bit more direction in life.
i've lost my train of thought.
i want to start running again. hopefully this time i really do start instead of simply talking about it.
on a random note, i just watched stardust. i love that show now.
i would like to have a girlfriend that glows whenever i'm around. that way i'd be able to know how happy she is to see me. and i would glow right back for her.
whimsical nonsense @ 12:52 AM
-------
Friday, April 23, 2010
i'm done. no more island. it's the mainland for me.
shorty is a eenie meanie miney mo lova'
for some reason i'm hooked on that song.
i think it's mike's fault.
it's time for the second phase of this journey.
so much uncertainty.
yet so much depend on it.
i'm frightful of uncertainty.
in such circumstances, i find myself gripped with fear.
i cannot see beyond two days.
i suppose that's what scares me.
besides the fact that i'm going to be small fry, ready to be fried.
time to start exercising once again!
whimsical nonsense @ 11:59 PM
-------
Monday, April 19, 2010
it's only a matter of hours now.
the beginning of a new phase in my life.
the extent of its significance is still uncertain.
i would be lying if i said i wasn't anxious.
let's see where this road takes me.
even though it's not the path i would have chosen.
it's time for a disappearing act.
whimsical nonsense @ 12:26 AM
-------
Friday, April 16, 2010
congratulations to those who made it into ocs. may you have fun in a journey that promises much!
i thought i could stay at home the whole morning and afternoon.
but other people had other plans and i found myself going out for tea.
still it was worth it i suppose.
so much for staying at home in the morning.
i just slept through it and only got out of bed past twelve.
so much for staying at home in the afternoon.
went out for tea with a church guy and a friend.
informative and good. not to mention lots of chocolate.
there are so many things i wanted to think about through the course of the day.
but as usual these thoughts are fleeting. and i soon return to my superficial world where i take many things at face value.
i cannot remember what were the things that bothered me earlier, the issues i had concerns about, the views i wanted to express.
fortunately or unfortunately, i'm still undecided.
two more days.
these two days will fly.
i'm too fat to fly.
whimsical nonsense @ 11:52 PM
-------
Thursday, April 15, 2010
back to that white and grey building that shaped a good third of my life.
to return as a product is immensely different from being a part of the process.
perspectives change.
as someone put it, you walk around as if the place was your home.
no longer do you walk around with inhibitions. the restrains of rules grip you a little less tightly.
you simply walk around wherever it pleases you. whenever too.
that discussion with madam was useful. very informative.
admittedly it was more for a certain high achiever (i shall refrain from using the phrase over-achiever for i sincerely believe he's still not over-achieving. merely achieving what he has always been able to do).
time is of the essence. less than forty-eight hours i believe.
good luck boy!
~~~
the weather was good. even though the rain in the afternoon did make things rather inconvenient.
the consequent cool was refreshing. the dark steely sky was pretty. it never fails to hold my gaze.
i caught a faint rainbow. for a fleeting moment.
things make no sense.
uncertainty creeps in.
whimsical nonsense @ 9:25 PM
-------
today was good.
meeting up with familiar faces, juniors was good.
watching races was good.
being in the stadium with the atmosphere was almost good.
lanning was fun.
good is a word used too often that it loses precise meaning.
but i really can't be bothered.
although at times i did feel a little extra.
rather inferior in the presence of fast people.
i never was that good. and saying i never had a real chance to try is merely an excuse even if valid.
if i could, i would seriously contemplate turning back the clock and doing things a little differently.
but time travel is scary.
whimsical nonsense @ 12:32 AM
-------
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
i am mildly troubled.
i heard a piece of news today, about myself.
apparently there are things going on out there that i am unaware of.
you know like the monsters hiding underneath your bed or in your closet
this changes things. i have to think twice before i proceed with certain actions.
i suppose it has been some time since i've faced any real repercussions from my actions.
it is timely reminder.
just like how i was just reminded that
josh groban has a magical voice!
today was good.
even with the multiple changes in plans. meeting familiar faces was good. faces which are almost always on that island.
the rain was good. lately i find myself coming to like wet post-rain roads.
i like how the lights reflect off the pavements and roads. it's rather pretty.
i like pretty.
i'm not sure if i should.
whimsical nonsense @ 1:59 AM
-------
Sunday, April 11, 2010
so it was one of those moments where you begin to reflect on life.
in general.
i started off wondering what life was all about.
was it to find happiness? perhaps love. is it to do what your heart desires or to fulfill society's expectations?
what is the meaning of life?
what do i really want right now?
that's when i realised that i shouldn't be asking myself,
"what is the answer"
instead, the real question seemed to be
"what is the question"
my thoughts were stunned into immobility upon realising that.
and i couldn't answer that.
i have no idea what it is i should be asking myself.
okay this post makes no sense.
time to try and make the most of this week before i trade in pink for green.
whimsical nonsense @ 11:25 PM
-------
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
I HAVE CRAYONS NOW!
twenty four of them.
THANK YOU KIMBERLEYALYSSA! (:
thanks for the caramel macchiato too (: (:
whimsical nonsense @ 11:22 PM
-------
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
siestas should be made a regular thing across school and work.
not only do they increase enjoyment at work, but productivity too.
it allows the brain to recharge instead of slogging through the remaining hours of work slothfully.
naps.
sleep.
mmmmm
wait hang on,
zzzzzzz
whimsical nonsense @ 2:53 PM
-------
Saturday, April 03, 2010
sore throats are irritating. annoying. i hate how it hurts whenever you swallow, be it food, water or simply saliva.
but at the end of the day, there's the expectation of temporal pain.
an expectation that is met.
relationships are confusing. it can prove to be the best thing in your life. it can prove to be the darkest period. it may provide the sunniest of your days, and at the same time be the harshest winter storm.
you may pour out so much of yourself into the relationship, and get nothing in return.
you may be on the receiving end of undeserved love.
you are dealing with a person of the opposite sex, assuming one is heterosexual, and probably not fully understand the mechanisms of how he/she works.
one day you wake up and realise you want to be with the other person for the rest of the life. by nightfall you go to bed having second thoughts.
it seems everything can happen in a relationship.
to put it simply (yet insufficiently), you can get the good and the bad.
is it possible to go through a true relationship without the painful moments? no fights, no quarrels, no arguments. not even the slightest disagreement?
is it best to have one that's always sunny? or are the low periods needed to make those almost-perfect-i-want-to-freeze-time moments all the more magical?
at the end of the day, you don't know what's going to happen. expectations may not always be met. an expectation of a blissful marriage may be met by a mutual (and happy) divorce.
perhaps the uncertainty is what makes relationships a bit more difficult to swallow.
or maybe it is the beauty of uncertainty that we fall in love with.
either way, i would rather much not have anything to do with either. no sore throats. no relationships. not yet
whimsical nonsense @ 12:52 AM
-------
Thursday, April 01, 2010
i have a taylor swift song stuck in my head.
taylor swiftttt!! (:
i just read that shoes have shelf life. it's 10 months.
oh gosh in a bid to preserve the running life of my racers, i hardly use them.
the last time i used them were possibly april 17th last year.
it's more than 10 months already shittttt.
the next run i run, it shall be in my racers!
hopefully i get posted to a unit near my place.
i have plans if it is.
such as running/cycling to work.
whimsical nonsense @ 12:07 AM
-------
profile
Samuel Chan
7 January 1991
affliations
shuqun primary school
Henry Park Primary School
Anglo-Chinese School (Independent)
acdb8 / bb12thcoy / acspb / ac cross country