like a comet pulled from orbit, as it passes a sun
like a stream that meets a boulder, halfway through the wood
who can say if I've been changed for the better
but because I knew you,
I have been changed for good.
for good - wicked (the musical)
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Sunday, February 28, 2010
ennui
–noun
a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom: The endless lecture produced an unbearable ennui.
although i kind of prefer the one in the dictionary on my mac.
noun a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.
ennui. what a strange interesting word.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:32 PM
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perhaps it's the fatigue or the lack of people with whom i can have meaningful face to face conversations. maybe it's simply my inability to understand my inner workings and hence unable to express them clearly.
but regardless of the reason, i find myself crawling back into my cosy cave. staying quiet. it is time to look inside.
actually, it is just time to think. be pensive. with a tinge of grey.
grey's good.
i'm stuck in a shallow pool i can't drown or swim in
whimsical nonsense @ 12:20 AM
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Wednesday, February 24, 2010
perhaps after the somewhat bad day yesterday, it doesn't take much for today to be better.
but yes today feels like a happy day.
the concept of relativity is immensely interesting.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:26 PM
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what a strange day.
my sweaty palms kept acting up and wouldn't disappear, as though something epic was going to happen. it may not have been epic but it wouldn't be too far off to say something unusual did happen.
despite spending much of the evening trying to figure what was going on in the midst of it happening, i still have no clue over what caused the rather unexpected onset of dark clouds.
still, there were a few things to be happy about i suppose.
there was the two people i shared the evening with haha they're such funny people. the things they say and the chemistry they share. i may not have shown it amidst the insane swirl of thoughts in my head but i had a good time. and the ice cream was good haha
there was the night sky as i walked back. it's not exactly something to be happy about since it's there almost every night. but i suppose it is the small things that can have the most profound effect on things.
there was the overseas friend who left without a word, but said something today while already overseas. thanks
and of course there is the friend who displayed a willingness to sacrifice sleep to be there for me. truly grateful i have her as a friend (:
before the storm, dark clouds gather as the wind starts to pick up. trouble seems to be brewing. but that's how i like it.
somehow in the midst of everything, there will be calm.
whimsical nonsense @ 1:10 AM
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Tuesday, February 23, 2010
today is the first step in a long march. and i already stumbled.
colour pencils and poor drawing skills are not going to save me.
i think i'm a little too crazy considering what i spent my evening doing. it's not worth it.
i'm hungry. rawr!
whimsical nonsense @ 12:39 AM
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Saturday, February 20, 2010
who would have thought two hours could make so much of a difference?
two hours, two conversations. i feel like an idiot.
and i know i deserve it.
life sucks. only thing left to do is to endure the thorns and bleed. and hope to survive.
whimsical nonsense @ 12:29 AM
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Thursday, February 18, 2010
"I've got a feeling you could use a little smile Hoping it would stay there for just a little while"
Happy Boys and Girls. by Aqua
whimsical nonsense @ 10:23 PM
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Wednesday, February 17, 2010
mm today seemed like a hamburger or sandwich of sorts.
bad. good. bad.
actually, bad. good. worse. would seem more appropriate.
thanks for the afternoon. it took my mind off what happened earlier. exploring was fun. coloured bottles were fun. friendly girl in pink was a pleasant surprise. glad you had fun hope you recover fully soon!
in the mean time, i shall attempt to find my footing before i stumble and slide into the pit called sadness
time to run away.
whimsical nonsense @ 11:59 PM
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Tuesday, February 16, 2010
this is not good.
i wish i did not have to handle my own future.
but that's not how life works.
unfortunately. for me.
whimsical nonsense @ 11:59 PM
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Saturday, February 13, 2010
happy chinese new year!
today is chinese new year's eve. sure doesn't feel like it.
a year ago, 13th feb was a friday and it was the last day of orientation. the next day, 14th feb was valentines day and on a saturday too! how perfect. i spent that valentines day at bedok for wings race. that was nice. valentines day with my girlfriend, running.
it feels good to have the army boys back haha life doesn't become so boring anymore.
previously i was looking so very much to chinese new year. now i'm not so sure. it just feels devoid of the atmosphere. at least there's food and soft drinks. surely one can't go wrong with that.
time to get fat! and be happy about it! :D
whimsical nonsense @ 11:52 PM
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Thursday, February 11, 2010
i wish i can see better in the dark. then i can write with the lights off.
write and draw. and colour.
night's good.
whimsical nonsense @ 2:21 AM
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sometimes i wish life would be like that
whimsical nonsense @ 12:11 AM
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Tuesday, February 09, 2010
it must have been the most intensive twelve days since IB examinations ended in November last year. working everyday, sometimes for a mere few hours/half a day, other times from morning to night. perhaps i'm not used to such a lifestyle but it did suck so much of my strength and energy, causing me to arrive home so sleepy and tired.
the daily exhaustion and cumulative effects of fatigue took its toll on me, as i slowly found myself reading less of the papers, becoming increasingly disconnected with the events of this world. before long i became more narrow-minded in a way, thinking only about work and friends. consciously i pushed everything else out, refusing to burden my fast-tiring brain with other "irrelevant" things.
now that work's done, there is so much catching up to do. have to start reading the TIME magazines that i have neglected. perhaps i shall start reading the numerous bb-related emails, although i have no idea how relevant they are to me. i have to do all the things i postponed on account of work, such as clearing my room, which is as good as a pig sty right now.
it is so pathetic to use work as an excuse to discard everything else from mind. i wonder how i am going to survive when i have to juggle more serious things. thankfully this time i had nothing important, as such any sacrifices made on account of work was negligible. however come university, when i have to juggle academic commitments along with other priorities, i really have no idea how i'll handle it. for now i shall blame the month-long period where i just rotted at home, resulting in a great culture shock when i had to wake up so early and do more than just being a couch potato, a shock that i never really adapted to properly in time.
yet despite the difficulties this virgin work experience brought, i have no regrets taking it up. it taught me a great deal; lessons that will hopefully prepare me mentally for the adult working world, social lessons that hopefully will prevent future mishaps and awkwardness, and in general life skills that may prove to be the lessons never taught in school but ever so crucial in the transition from a pubescent teenager to adulthood.
twelve days never felt so long. twelve days never felt so enriching. twelve days never had such great extremities.
so often i seem caught in the middle, and yet other times i was simply caught out alone. emotions toward certain persons would swing unpredictably from one end of the spectrum to the other. the feeling of comfort could transform into massive awkwardness in the blink of an eye. a flame could burn me one moment but provide light in a dark room in the next moment.
for every difficult, terrible moment it seemed like there would be a more positive instance to make up for it. thank goodness for them.
work was good. i suppose even if i was not paid a cent, i wouldn't mind doing all of it. i worked for the experience. i guess since i went in with such a mindset, i took out more than what i ever hoped for.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i got my notebook. time to waste it all away, with my incessant rants.
whimsical nonsense @ 9:53 PM
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Sunday, February 07, 2010
well there goes my first work experience. my last day of work is now over. and i am much too tired/sleepy/sticky to blog about it, although there is much i would like to say.
a good enriching experience. totally no regrets.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:24 PM
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Saturday, February 06, 2010
"tell me how many frogs do I have to kiss/before I find my prince"
- Frogs and Princes, Natasha Bedingfield
whimsical nonsense @ 11:37 PM
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vroom vroom vroom! motorcycles are dangerous. especially the hot red ones.
i like how there are three. next to a towering lamp post. they are so pretty. if only i could topple the lamp post and crush them all.
cobbled streets!
whimsical nonsense @ 12:20 AM
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Thursday, February 04, 2010
some are in. some are readying themselves to go in.
i wonder what the impact of all this will be. i'm not making sense.
i miss sleeping in :(
whimsical nonsense @ 10:35 PM
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Monday, February 01, 2010
one more week for me.
a few more days for most of my friends.
in the meantime, i shall find my black pen, some coloured pictures and outline things.
one day i'm going to find a cartoon colouring book and put those colour pencils to good use. please let it be next week.
it's great to stare at the full moon in wonder. it's better to count the stars. perhaps it's best if you do it with that someone.
rumpety pum pum rumpety pum pum i need rum oh yes! rumpety pum pum
whimsical nonsense @ 10:49 PM
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whimsical nonsense @ 10:37 PM
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Samuel Chan
7 January 1991
affliations shuqun primary school Henry Park Primary School Anglo-Chinese School (Independent) acdb8 / bb12thcoy / acspb / ac cross country
