along the cobbled sidewalks of life

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

looking at the comments for youtube videos in general,
i must say the human race is full of shit.

we're so self centred, we're so ready to make assumptions and start accusing someone else for being something they may not necessarily be.
we jump to conclusions, make hasty judgements.
the manner in which these are expressed is so devoid of compassion, tact.
it is blunt, sometimes explicit and condescending.

i'm not trying to say i'm not like that.
although i believe it's inevitable for me to feel i'm not like such people.
i believe it's human nature to have this false sense of superiority.
false sense of self-righteousness.

human nature is screwed up.
i am screwed up.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 11:59 PM

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Monday, September 28, 2009

i just read yesterday's post.
that final hurdle i was referring to? it has been crossed.
whether i sailed over it or knocked it down is a separate matter altogether.

the fact is, it's over.
now comes that longest lap. the last one.

all of a sudden i wish i was stuck at that hurdle. so that i won't have to do this one more painful time.

but that's life.
whether you get killed trying to live it, it simply charges ahead.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 9:52 PM

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Sunday, September 27, 2009

one more hurdle. one more to overcome.

before i enter the final stretch. one more lap to go.

no second chances.

why is it when we set out to do something great, a grand plan already in our head, we find it extremely difficult to work to bring that plan into fruition?

yet when it comes to impulsive behaviour, doing things on a whim, they're usually the things we shouldn't really be doing?

we are all made up of inherent contradictions. that is what makes the human race so intriguing. the mechanisms of mankind is a wonderful, amusing thing.

yet that's why we are so screwed up.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 11:06 PM

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

if math paper 3 wasn't on monday, today would have been close to a prefect day.

nick and norah's inifinite playlist is a rather interesting show. i like the setting. some of the characters are rather intriguing, despite being somewhat two-dimensional. but i guess for a show with a relatively short running time and somewhat straightforward plot, it's not really necessarily to develop all characters.

good stuff. i like it :D haha

all that's left is math paper 3. of which i am so utterly unprepared for.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 10:21 PM

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Friday, September 25, 2009

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray
to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

So I lay my head back down,
and I lift my hands and pray
to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down,
and I lift my hands and pray
to be only yours I pray
to be only yours I pray
to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope


only hope - mandy moore

whimsical nonsense @ 9:29 PM

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

i shall embark on a journey, one that will take me
somewhere.

in this life, i either float around aimlessly,
going where the currents of life lead.
OR
i search for something, looking for something.

to float around is scary, for i have no control over the direction of my life.
who knows? i might float into destruction.
and yet i have no idea what it is i'm trying to find.

i shall embark on a journey, to find whatever it is i need to find.
it is a journey that will take me somewhere.
or perhaps, nowhere.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 12:52 PM

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Monday, September 21, 2009

one week's over.
another to begin soon.
it's an uphill struggle. one i'm afraid i may not be able to come out victorious.

sure i may survive. but in what state?
half dead?
possibly.

this isn't good.

man and horse were supposed to reach the battlefield with strength enough to still fight.
i'm afraid i didn't travel smart. i was ignorant.
i ignored the advice to ride light.
besides that, i allowed adrenaline to overcome me
cloud my judgement
i failed to pace myself and rode too fast too early.
i paid the price.

reaching the battlefield, i was immensely lethargic.
filled with fatigue, i fell while fighting.

pierced by spears. shot by arrows.
i finally laid to rest on the field. my body emptied of its blood.

i'd like to say it was a good death.
a warrior's death.

it's not. it was a death that was the result of my folly.
sigh.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 10:51 PM

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Friday, September 18, 2009

i dislike the juvenile thinking of my mind.

i'm waiting for the day where i'll finally grow up. the day my thought processes matches the physique of my body.
i'm 18. i may not look 18 (older, younger, does it matter?) but close enough.
i think, like only a 5 year old could.
the way i view the earth, the workings of the world. my interpretations and readings of situations. the superficiality of it all irks me.
for a while.

it just disappears. because like a kid, my attention shifts to something else. i am restless. always seeking something new to occupy myself with. my new "toy". i can never grasp the concept of commitment, or the idea of striving for my dreams.
to me, dreams are not the aims and objectives of my life. it does not refer to the things i wish to achieve in life. rather,
dreams are the fairy-tale lands where it's filled with smiles and rainbows. where things are as it should be, as defined by me!

everything is about me. focus is on the ego. disgusting.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 10:32 PM

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009

this is my 800th post since the creation of my blog.
wow.

i'm blogging before 12am!
but regardless, life still sucks.

i'm growing weary of it all.
politics. chasing after things.

just so tired. i want to give up.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 9:04 PM

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Tuesday, September 08, 2009

once again i'm typing this past 12 midnight. i have to stop doing this.
for some reason i'm just dead in the morning but then at night i'm somewhat alive.
actually, i think i'm just perpetually tired.

how many times am i going to say this?
another wasted day trying to study.

the journey of school is about to come to an end.
it's the last hill to climb. a little more and the 12 years of education comes to an end.
a hiatus of a couple of years and then it resumes again.
all part of growing up.

since when did growing up become
study study to get a good education and consequently a good job
to live a good life.
i think it's the result of a screwed up world with screwed up values.
(i'm ignoring the fact that i'm part of this world and equally screwed up. it's always nice to have a misplaced sense of self-righteousness at times)

just because the developed countries like the USA, western european countries etc have a lot of money and feel it's the best life, does that mean it really is?
what's best for them, is it best for everyone?
i can't help but think about all the wars Uncle Sam has fought in, be it those intiated by them or those that they enter a while after it all began.
vietnam war, the war in iraq, afghanistan etc.
the usa is trying to get the country to implement democracy and everything that the usa is doing.
i don't really know how to put it. i lack the ability to express my thoughts.
the root problem is that my brain is unable to form cogent thoughts.

i think i am just going to give up.
just like how i feel like giving up in everything i'm doing.
except living.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 12:23 AM

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Monday, September 07, 2009

the weekend is over and what have i to show for it?
some undeserved fun, an extremely tired body and mind
and absolutely no work done.

everyone's doing their personal statements now.
as i type this post, two of my friends are furiously hard at work.
i just got word that two of my other friends have finished their first draft.
looks like they know when to get serious.
just makes me reflect upon myself.

compared to my peers, i stand in their shadow,
my immaturity and childish behaviour contrasting clearly with their mature actions.
their ability to discern the right time to relax and have fun, and to be serious,
is something i lack.
i am unable to get myself to do the work i know i should be doing.
i simply lack strength of will, and whatever positive qualities that one might be able to attribute to oneself with respect to this.

okay i've clearly lost my train of thought as i embarked on a almost monologue with elijah on msn.

just associate all the negative words you can think of with me and you'd probably be right 80% of the time?

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 1:28 AM

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Saturday, September 05, 2009

interesting day indeed. (i'm talking about 4th september)

lazy morning.
moderate afternoon.
exciting evening.

water and instant noodles.
java chip frap and caramel frap. both venti with no whipped cream.
good catered food (salmon, scallops, pasta etc anyone? :D)

seems like everything just built up towards the end.
the day ended off with a bang. on a high.
hopefully the same can be said about my academic life.

moderate midyears.
promising prelims.
fantastic finals.

somehow i doubt it. like deep down i'm screaming out
nahhhhhhhhh so not going to happen!
i can always hope though.

hope without action is useless.
hopefully i actually start studying properly tomorrow.
this sentence is just to make it to three lines.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 1:40 AM

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Tuesday, September 01, 2009

for some reason i really like this picture.
it's not exactly the one i have in my head but it'll do

(i'm talking about my blog background picture)

i'm sorry to the 6 of you out there. sigh

whimsical nonsense @ 12:53 AM

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