Sunday, June 28, 2009
and so it begins tomorrow. the mad rush towards the finishing line. much like the second transformers movie, it is non-stop action all the way, with hardly a moment to rest.
midyears. once over, ioc. once over, preparations for prelims, then prelims. once over, it's just straight to the ib exam.
ioc instills great fear into my heart. it shakes the very core that resides in me, threatening to shatter it and along with it the rest of my body.
two more weeks plus one more day. one by one. mathmathmathdiediedie. i shall just trudge through i guess. and try to take things one at a time, painful step by painful step. hopefully at the end of it all, i'll still be able to watch transformers (again) hahaha.
i shall try to muggerfy myself.
that's what i told myself at least 4 weeks ago. i failed.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:04 PM
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Saturday, June 20, 2009
and so yesterday was my sister's 21st birthday party. at the tea party (sixth avenue centre).
i hoped she enjoyed it. it certainly seemed like she did. most of the people present were those she spend a lot of time with. acjc choir. a few from her secondary school days. another group from the young adults and of course there was family! like beyond immediate family. cousins and stuff. haha hopefully that would have been one of the happiest days of her life, or at least this year :D
well it was a rather fun thing to attend i guess. towards the end playing taboo. that's what made it fun. if not it would have just been another forgettable event. ah well.
food was good :D
i wonder what would happen when i turn 21. would my circle of my friends be similar to what it is at the moment?
okay watching tv has derailed my train of thought hahaha.
whoo i love watching tv!
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:38 PM
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009
i shall blog a post that is actually before 12 midnight.
lately i've been noticing a trend that when i blog, i'll always finish typing past 12 and it is kind of irritating because it screws up the date since i set the time posted as the time i finish.
today has been an absolutely wasteful day. 4 hours at math tuition and i ended up with a headache. thankfully the bus ride was alright. long bus rides with a headache usually kills me. come to think of it, everything about the bus ride seems perfect. i didn't have to wait at all, neither did i have to rush. the bus just arrived as i came. it was a double decker bus, which is what i prefer for my 154 busrides home. the bus was emptyish! or at least the upper deck was. there was never more than 15 people i think at one go. that's what i like. i tried listening to copeland but after the first song, it didn't help my headache, so i decided to listen to secondhand serenade. whoo it just made the bus ride some perfect form of escapism from the horrifying world that i'm living in at the moment. by the way, the first album, awake. i don't really like the second album, it's bordering on dislike i guess?
bus ride:
- emptyish double decker bus. check
- good music. check
- sleep the headache away. almost, but good enough, so check.
my form of escapism for the day: check.
back to the horrors of reality tomorrow.
whimsical nonsense @ 11:59 PM
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
and so it begins. the two weeks of supposed studying.
definitely not enough. oh well just got to make do.
i have to stop sleeping so much.
i have to stop watching so much tv.
i have to stop doing whatever it is that distracts me.
i hope tomorrow will be a good day. going to school to study before going for training haha. that's the plan at least.
plans almost always never turn out the way they are meant to.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:03 AM
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Sunday, June 14, 2009
i forgot to say something yesterday, june 13th 2009.
yesterday, my macbook was exactly one year old!
i bought it at the IT fair a year ago, friday the 13th.
it has crossed the 1 year mark.
which is a good thing.
i realised that quite a few of my er, electrical-related stuff? barely lasts a year :(
phone:
okay my first and second phone both lasted more than a year. so yay? unfortunately my second phone had to get stolen :(
ipod:
first ipod didn't last a year. it malfunctioned and i got it replaced (still under 1-year warranty)
the replacement ipod lasted a looooong time. 21 months maybe? before it got stolen :(
earphones:
not counting the free ones. my first pair lasted a month or so before it died. got it replaced. the replacement lasted about 10 months before it died. so i got it replaced. the replacement lasted er, almost 2 months before it got stolen :(
laptop:
only have one. my macbook. and it has lasted 1 year and 1 day. thankfully.
external hard disk:
only have one. and it's only about 7 months old? but i already lost the usb cable ><
okay a master list of things that didn't last a year:
- ipod nano 1st gen (first one)
- crossroads mylarone X3
- crossroads mylarone X3i
- crossroads bijou 3 (the first pair. i'm still using the second pair)
- external hard disk usb cable
hmm is that a lot? i don't know. the start date is around feb 06, when i got the ipod nano 1st gen (the first one).
makes me sound like someone. lalala
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:59 PM
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Friday, June 12, 2009
i feel like i have been enlightened. i'm not sure how justified it is for me to have this new impression of someone. but yeah hopefully it'll last and hopefully it'll make me understand better.
i must become a better man
whimsical nonsense @ 11:26 PM
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after a couple of weeks contemplating, i have finally decided to begin writing. i'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. sigh.
i hope you receive it my friend, while you're all the way in australia. but i have no expectations whatsoever regarding your response to it.
or maybe i'm afraid to expect anything. i'm adopting a more heck it and just whack attitude i suppose. sigh.
whimsical nonsense @ 11:08 PM
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Sunday, June 07, 2009
it's 2:54am.
after what transpired this evening, i feel so ashamed to face you.
(should i be reading this 2 years later and wondering who the you refers to. think 2 years. 2 years ago, 2 years younger. and recall that corner)
i truly am sorry for what happened. sigh
whimsical nonsense @ 2:56 AM
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i don't know what i'm doing.
thanks for pointing it out.
why why why.
i'm sorry :(
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 1:35 AM
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Friday, June 05, 2009
the complexities of it all increase exponentially.
once again, it feels like i have so much to say, but my ability to pen my thoughts fails me yet again.
as the thoughts race through my head, i shall, what?
the end.
whimsical nonsense @ 1:59 AM
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Thursday, June 04, 2009
the struggle will always be there. or rather should i say struggles.
the daily obstacles one faces, a daily chore. the first few attempts may seem alright, but as weariness closes in and the ability to concentrate diminishes, it tasks becomes more uphill than ever.
the mountain to climb, the battle to win.
the desire for victory, crushed by the harshness of reality.
a rather intense day. another headache where it feels like my brain is saturated, unable to absorb further information. instead of trying, it simply submits ever so meekly to the darkness that envelopes. before long, i find myself wrapped in darkness, completely lost.
following the intensity of the day, the night proves no different, but in a slightly different manner. it does not hold as much negativity as that of the day, but in a strange fashion seems somewhat enjoyable. makes me think i guess. intellectual stimulation? nah not really but who cares?
essential question: what am i living for? [8m]
how should one approach such a question? does it require analysis or any other form of evaluation? look at the number of marks, 8 marks requires 8 points or 4 points with substantiating evidence. signpost them clearly.
now that i know how to approach this question, i shall settle down in my comfortable chair as i prepare to put pen to paper. while intellectually enjoying the engagement answering the questions entails, i still manage somehow to physically take in the wonderful sound of pen brushing against paper, the sight of markings left behind by the ink which collectively produce symbols that can be interpreted to mean something much more than mere strokes. it is enjoyable indeed.
yet the only problem i face as the inability to answer the question. so what if you know how to answer it, should you not know what the answer should be. it's pointless to know how to build a skyscraper when you don't even know how the skyscraper is supposed to look like. nevertheless, i shall try. and in my attempts to do so, i'll slowly come to realise that maybe i have no idea what i'm doing.
essential question: what am i living for? [8m]
answer: (as of now, a blank)
maybe i am not meant to know the answer. maybe i am living for the process of finding the answer. in a way similar to the novel Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse. my existence is for the purpose of embarking upon the journey of discovering my destiny. i live for the experience of searching and seeking, of discovering.
essential question: what am i living for? [8m]
answer: i don't know.
marker's comments - such an answer warrants an immediate zero. it shows an utter lack of initiative in engaging the question on it's various levels, which is far worse than a even a superficial response. the ignorance shown cannot be ignored, as such he has been penalized heavily for it. taking into consideration the lack of depth or breadth present in the answer, there are no grounds or basis for the rewarding of marks. therefore the 0 given is a completely justifiable mark.
0/8. that means i failed. i fail in this, i fail in that. in general, i fail at life. i didn't just fail, i was horrendous. still am.
oh free me from all this. the door of my prison cell may be open, but i shan't escape. i refuse to do so on my own. please, drag me by the hand, drag me out that i may stand free. no longer held prisoner by the things that lord it over me.
if you don't come. fine by me. i shall just stay in the cell like a foolish inmate, ignoring the wide open cell door, because i simply refuse to escape. so i shall remain where i am, even as doom inevitably approaches and threatens to wipe me off the face of the earth, eradicating my presence, permanently.
oh kill me now! oh rescue me!
oh ambivalence!
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 1:28 AM
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Wednesday, June 03, 2009
a quick look around and i marvel at my immaturity and superficiality.
a day or two have passed and i have nothing to show for it.
i shall be content if i could just spend the time... never mind.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:27 AM
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profile
Samuel Chan
7 January 1991
affliations
shuqun primary school
Henry Park Primary School
Anglo-Chinese School (Independent)
acdb8 / bb12thcoy / acspb / ac cross country
