Friday, February 27, 2009
school founders day. the usual. long. at least there were one or two things to make it a little more exciting. but it did not prevent me from sleeping still. but then again i sleep really easily in these sort of things, so yeah.
i crossed my legs while sitting, in a typical guy fashion. i was sleeping. my left leg was crossed, resting on my right knee. for some reason my left leg just shot out and it hit poor ziyang square in his right shoulder. I'M SO SORRY!! i think i was experiencing one of those "dreams" where your body would end up jerking once. or it could have been something else like the loss of control? but that sounds similar to the previous suspicion. maybe it is a combination of both. but yeah i was fully awake the moment my leg lashed out and realised my mistake. apologized and at the same time realised that my left leg was numb. i could barely feel anything. hm strange.
bummed around after founders day. walked around with henry, talking to random people along the way. jiayi, daniel yee, clifton, elendrus teo, rene, mark yeo. before going to wah chee for lunch. talk a bit to kevin, then lunch.
the range of topics over our plates of rice was amusing. from school related topics to bar games. chicken vs black pepper beef.
back to school. back to the familiar red yellow and blue tables. drinks. conversation part two. before leaving to watch the rugby match between acsi ib and acjc, just because we could. sat down until 4. we both left. went our separate ways.
i left the company of a great friend to join the company of another. a short trip to holland v and it wasn't long before i sat down at starbucks, sipping at a grande mocha frap without whipped cream (with cinnamon powder) talking to dan han. never leaving our seats, we sat at our comfortable armchairs and simply talked. catching up with each other, cheekily teasing the other party at times or even ourselves. and we were sitting right next to the entrance, with only the glass wall separating us from the world beyond that particular starbucks outlet.
a bright sunny day. sitting in an air-conditioned place on comfortable chairs. catching up with a friend over coffee. looking at the world pass by outside.
something i've always wanted to do. hardly a moment of awkwardness despite the fact we haven't really been talking for so long. it felt so familiar. i felt quite at ease. it was like we could talk about almost anything under the sun. which we kind of did considering the direction our conversation would take sometimes. amusing.
thanks dan! for so many things. (:
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:45 PM
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Wednesday, February 25, 2009
for some reason my brain is dying. it has been half dead since the afternoon.
no why?
school cross country turned out to be a good event after all. (:
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 10:43 PM
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Tuesday, February 24, 2009
as i listen to some japanese song of which i have no idea what the song means,
not now anyway. but i know it is some love song of sorts.
one of my running songs. simply because it comes from a show and that show has a lot of this guy running scenes. hm.
okay as i think back to the time i heard this song, it suddenly reminds me of so much more besides running.
tomorrow is the day.
i've heaped the pressure upon myself and that could cause my own downfall. i just hope i'm strong enough to stand up again and try. because tomorrow is not the end of my journey but simply a test before the real end comes.
what the this is becoming too weird. shall go blog at my other blog.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 9:26 PM
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Sunday, February 22, 2009
Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep.
This air is blessed, you share with me.
This night is wild, so calm and dull.
These hearts, they race from self-control.
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine.
We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.
The words are hushed, let's not get busted.
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered;
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"Hey, did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close,
They can't hear, so we can get some.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.
Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember.
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair,
That you twirled in your fingers.
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late.
And this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet and the gate was locked,
So I jumped it and I let you in,
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist,
And you kissed me like you meant it,
And I knew that you meant it.
That you meant it, that you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it.
hands down - dashboard confessional
the song that's stuck in my head the past few days. not complaining.
a song i like, and the lyrics are beautiful. in one song, there are so many lines that just stand out to me. for some reason i notice it. i just love the whole song.
this week is not going to be good
because i didn't do any work the weekend.
how screwed can i get?
now let me just lay on the grassy field with my head looking up
my eyes transfixed on the stars that are embedded in the clear night sky
overhead, twinkling with utmost beauty
as the breeze gently plays its songs to add on to the already perfect as it is
experience.
i fill my head with dreams so that i don't have to face the nightmares.
but not facing the nightmares does not stop them from devouring me.
one day, if not now, or tomorrow, i will get devoured.
and all i can blame is my laziness.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:38 PM
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Friday, February 20, 2009
today is the day i finally got them. not sure if the decision was right, if the price was right.
i shall try not to think about it.
1/5. something melted. not sure what.
mount everest. (is that how you spell it?) what is my mount everest?
I KNOW I KNOW! but i shan't say lest ariel rolls her eyes at me.
sigh. brings back the unhappy memories of what occurred earlier today. not good. but i shall try my very best not to let myself be bothered by it.
whoo mark yeo, adwyn, zhang and junyi. good company. haha too bad some people not around. went queensway to shop. in the end only junyi and i bought stuff. then i left them as they all went to town. noooo ):
oh well at least i went home, ate a normal dinner and watched house! yess!!
two more episodes. so now i'm 2/3 through season 2. two more discs and i'll be done with seasons 1, 2 and 3. whoo!
i love house! (:
for some strange reason, i had beyonce's if i were a boy playing in my head during lunch. ahhh!
and in the evening, hands down was just looping. not that i mind this one. i love hands down!
your legs were smooth as they graze mine.
my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
and you kissed me like you meant it.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 10:38 PM
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Wednesday, February 18, 2009
something victor chang tagged me on on facebook. if the terminology is right. i have a feeling i did this before but i don't really care. maybe the questions are different. i love doing such stuff because i'm bored and lame. alright here goes!
1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY...
all or nothing - westlife
2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
walking in the air - choirboys
3) WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
soulmate - natasha beddingfield
4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
tonight - fm static
5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
measure of a man - clay aiken
6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
secret valentine - we the kings
7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
main theme of final fantasy VII - final fantasy (LOL)
8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
on my way - corrinne may
9) WHAT IS 2+2?
so she dances - josh groban
10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
qi li xiang - jay chou (huh?)
11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
ecce homo - choirboys (?!)
12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
the will - ruruoni kenshin
13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
40 kinds of sadness - ryan cabrera ( :( )
14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
corpus christi carol - choirboys
15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
take it all away - ryan cabrera (aww)
16) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
thunderbirds are go - busted
17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
let me go - 3 doors down (hm...)
18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
wisemen - james blunt
19) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
sos - jonas brothers
20) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
bubbly - colbie caillat
21) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
no stopping us - jason mraz
22) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
when you say you love me - clay aiken
23) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
on top of the world - boys like girls
24) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
black horse and the cherry tree - kt tunstall
25) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
how six songs collide - norwegian recycling
26) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
river flows in you - yiruma
27) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
that's when i love you - aslyn (:S)
28) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
flame - witch hunter robin
29) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
fighting - final fantasy
30) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
i will follow you into the dark - death cab for cutie
yay done! okay time to sleep.
zzz
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:16 AM
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Monday, February 16, 2009
og outing. holland v.
studied a little before it at coffee bean. starbucks
was a little too crowded to offer a corner to be productive.
caramel ice blended.
marcus chan came and we started talking. no more studying i guess.
as the appointed time of five drew near
more came and the group expanded
to the point where it could grow no longer and the inevitable
occurred. we moved.
sitting and talking. mindless banter filling the room
with no regard whatsoever for our surroundings.
as we wait for the arrival of those expected to come
but have not reached their destination.
we didn't mind the waiting, our patience barely tested.
at most, our stomachs were unhappy, but that remained a minority.
the time came, we ordered. we waited. it came.
mouths opened and chewed. food started to enter the stomachs present
as we continued chatting. on and on and on.
even when there was nothing left to put into our mouths, they continued
opening and closing, words coming out instead.
alas, an unexpected arrival. finally brought us to our feet
as we rose to leave.
a stop at frolicks, a quickie at starbucks before ending at coffee bean. again
the lack of space was to blame. not surprising.
one or two, or three even, no longer around. we were diminishing in numbers.
not quite actually. we came, we conquered. we made it our own.
a phone call, an abrupt goodbye,
leads to the spontaneous ending of the night. in a sense.
we dispersed after much discussion. each to his or her own.
it shows promise. the potential is there. or at least that's what i think.
or what she thinks, while i agree.
and yet i wonder if it would,
last.
the test starts tomorrow, and i shall observe such that i might be able to predict.
it's not my test to take. why should i concern myself with it?
least of all when i stand in the midst of various obstacles.
my very own tests. designed to cause my downfall.
or if i'm lucky or able, to give me the foothold i need to elevate myself
to greater heights. i shall seek
the desire within me to strive. and as i reflect, alas
i seek in vain.
let me not be cowered by all that stands around me.
let me not hide in the shadows of the giants threatening to overpower me.
courage, determination, strength, perseverance.
may i strive for them.
if i have not love, i am nothing.
on a separate note, for real,
let me not see your face and have my legs buckle.
in fear, or admiration.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:26 AM
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Friday, February 13, 2009
orientation is over. and so it ends.
we mourn for the coming of the end and dread the imminent doom.
i must admit, it scares me really greatly.
i don't know. i feel overwhelmed by all that is happening around me. i feel like
i failed.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:16 PM
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Tuesday, February 10, 2009
two nights ago, i hit the sack at close to 4am. last night, i went to bed around 3am.
two nights of little sleep. no wonder i died during training.
what a pity.
maybe i need to take a break.
an undeserved one.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 10:39 PM
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death is a sure thing.
i am starting to crumble beneath all the weight that has been heaved upon my shoulders. instead of draining my incapable brain of every drop of brain juice it might have, i have decided to mindlessly rant on blogger and let my fingers do the talking.
this is not right. i should be focusing on world lit. yes.
maybe because my internet is screwy and right now i'm in the window of time where it works for longer than mere seconds. and i am trying my utmost best to take advantage of it.
when i think i about it, i shudder. i shudder at the thought of something. it makes me fear what would actually happen should it become reality. maybe i would see the world crashing in upon me and i get crushed, mutilated by it all.
for some strange, unknown reason, i seem to be typing in three rows. at least that is the way it is on blogger. i assure you it is purely coincidental. right now i really have to rack my brains in order that i may complete my world lit outline soon and go to sleep. so i can rest.
i am deliberately trying to push tomorrow's math test out of my mind. it is a foregone conclusion that i will not do well. i have not been practising, even in these last days, choosing to focus on other things, be it work or play. i am screwed up.
somehow, i still end up thinking about it. and just recently, maybe today. thinking about it makes me, in a way sad. not surprisingly, words fail me once again. i lack the vocabulary to be able to convey my feelings across accurately.
this is not good. i am getting demoralised, and i'm not even talking to my number one demoraliser.
run baby run
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:50 AM
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Monday, February 02, 2009
and so it happened, orientation day one.
i will try to be less childish and as such will try to refrain from posting a recount of what happened.
a year on since the time when i was in their shoes, the orientated peeople. alright a year a little more. i recall orientation ended on monday, 7th january if i'm not wrong. maybe my memory fails me.
orientation. sometimes, it feels like the most fun thing one will ever go through in ib. not saying that ib is immensely not fun, it's just that whatever fun one is having, there is always this background humming buzz in your head reminding you of the work that is due. you're just simply pushing it to the perimeters of your mind so that for a moment you can escape from it all, the deadlines. and so orientation is the moment where you lack that buzzing noise.
for once, lacking is not a negative thing.
happy-go-lucky spirit.
some run away, others remain but keep a low profile. and yet others stand up.
some fall into hidden ditches, others disappear into obscurity. and yet others get struck by lightning.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:49 PM
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Sunday, February 01, 2009
smile. frown. up. down.
curves.
relax. keep moving. left right left right.
round the bend.
down the straight, slow down not. all the way to the end.
start fast. relax next. just pump.
right.
smile. frown. up. down.
curves.
direct. indirect. to say the least. i simply can't.
understand.
just for kicks. "am.not.monster"
at least that brought a
smile. frown. up. down.
curves.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:55 AM
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profile
Samuel Chan
7 January 1991
affliations
shuqun primary school
Henry Park Primary School
Anglo-Chinese School (Independent)
acdb8 / bb12thcoy / acspb / ac cross country