Thursday, January 29, 2009
2.4 9:08.
doesn't take a genius to figure out what that means.
i wished with all my might
that one day i wouuld be able to go
sub nine.
wishes do not come true based on the strength of my desire.
people say, make it happen.
i tried.
some say it's good enough, as long as you tried
and put in the effort. but there are others where trying
is never enough.
too much sun is not good. skin cancer. too hot to be comfortable.
therefore i say
let the dark clouds be my ceiling
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:06 PM
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Wednesday, January 28, 2009
i'm not exactly sure which is stranger,
this chinese new year not feeling very chinese new year like
OR
seeing how quite a number of my friends feel the same way too.
maybe it's the doom and gloom of the financial crisis that saps away the happy atmosphere somewhat
maybe it's the weather, where it's been largely overcast and drizzling (at least i think so)
maybe it's just because i'm a year6 ib student in acsi.
multiple reasons. possible ones. how to answer the question (should there be one) on why is this year's chinese new year lacking in the cny spirit?
analysis! :D
look at all the possible reasons and started analysing their significance and influence towards the supposedly lack of cny spirit. ahh too much history.
been trying to read my history readings. it takes me one entire minute to read one sentence. so it takes me close to forever to finish one set.
now all i have to do is to read paddy clarke. that will take me another eternity.
something i cannot afford. i can barely afford anything these days. sigh.
on a random, happier note, i managed to get a bag! yay. that was on saturday.
on a random note, i have not run in two days. gg. i shall run to school tomorrow!
to sleep or not to sleep,
that is the question.
yeah right.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:25 AM
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Monday, January 26, 2009
happy chinese new year! (:
whimsical nonsense @ 12:39 AM
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Saturday, January 24, 2009
omg i woke up at 540 this morning so i can be at bedok reservoir by 745am!!!!
and then over there we just ran about 4.8km? haha
not bad la. weather was good, gravel wasn't wet. had lunch with arjun sean isaac garry kasih at adam road food court. or something. hahahaha the nasi lemak has names! like full house, royal flush, royal rumble! so amusing! went to meet my sister at liang court and after that went shopping. walked all over the place. along with mrt too. tired. at least it wasn't wasted. yay.
i can't stay up late today!! :(
need to wake up earlier to be in school by 8. plan to train.
really hope it doesn't rain. i need to start hardcore training now!!!
rawr!
i wonder when my ill-discipline is going to get any better.
looks like never.
i wonder what happened to everyone else
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:51 PM
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Sunday, January 18, 2009
it is not a good time to start watching house. really.
it's over. really it is.
tomorrow proves to be an intimidating way in more ways than one.
meeting the unknown.
running the semi-unknown.
trying to overcome the known.
i do not feel up to it.
the best part of it all? i'm not even trying.
i love house
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:32 PM
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Saturday, January 17, 2009
i did not just do that to you. oh dear. i feel bad. sorry
whimsical nonsense @ 12:43 AM
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i used it for the first time today. from the five. thanks!
i first used it yesterday. from the many. thanks too!
but it was marred by another issue, which i am trying my best to forget.
i now realise how much my comfort song means to me. right.
not in the mood to blog. not a good mood.
i wonder why good mood doesn't rhyme.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:39 AM
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Monday, January 12, 2009
the work piles on.
bb day today. relatively uneventful.
played bass for the worship band. on the second song, i thought i sounded out of tune, so i lowered my volume to make myself not easily heard. after a while, even i couldn't hear myself. apparently it really was out of tune. the A string was like a G. :/
school. usual. sian. went to run the blackmore route minus a little bit. heh cheated a little. i died. felt faster but still ran real slow. ahh i need to improve more faster! ><
and the work piles on. still.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:37 PM
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friday's holiday meant i have survived 5 days of school. it felt a lot more. my friend once commented, (along the lines of) it's been only a week and yet i feel immensely tired. that sums it all up. so many things have happened, packed into an already bursting schedule. the result: a warped sense that a long time has passed since hundreds, thousands of events have occurred. it's in a way
demoralising. that the path ahead seems never ending. it stretches far beyond the eye can see, well into the horizon. i fear it may be further than my legs can stand. i don't feel ready, not at all prepared to struggle through it all and stand at the finishing line, victorious. i dream of it, but dreams are foolish without actions. yet i feel contented right now to continue living in the world of thought bubbles hovering above my head. seems blissful enough. for now.
obviously it won't be too long before it bursts. inevitable that it does. most bubbles do that.
tomorrow, 12th jan. that is in 1 minute's time (as i type this). my last boys' brigade day as a student. my 5th in total. it is unfortunate that it has to be under these circumstances. i am the author of my destruction. i am afraid that this bubble has burst too, not too long ago. maybe time, as always, can heal all wounds.
i know of someone where time does not apply to that someone. alas, the wounds he suffer cannot be healed by time. that's not good for me.
if only i can stop sleeping so often, especially in the course of the day. but as it is, i don't mind being awake at night, with the ever so cooling night breeze, blowing all around me. sometimes it sends chills right down to my bones, other times it provides a timely form of calm and relief, respite if you may say, from the continuous hustle and bustle of the singaporean life. the quietness of it all, ever so alluring. i would like to have those moments where i just freeze momentarily. under the most beautiful ceiling one could ever ask for, i sit on a bench, watching life pass by.
realistically speaking, there is this place i could visit. most probably, the regular evening jogger moves across, his breaths fairly audible, the heavy landing of his feet on the gravel of the pathway, as i subconsciously start to evaluate his running style. the couple or family, taking their evening stroll. leisurely moving, taking time to enjoy this very special moment in the day where 'rush' is not on the agenda. my special time of the day
spent watching others whilst i sit there taking it all in. let the thoughts in my head wander. at times, i don't mind running. instead of sitting there, stoning if you may, i take a more active course of action. a simple jog that hopefully lasts a few kilometres, aimed at giving my heart a slightly less than moderate workout, in addition to allowing my brain to escape from it. running, my form of escapism. sometimes.
let me run in circles, for that is what i always do. it becomes increasingly difficult for me to get something done, for accomplishing matters is a skill i seem to have lost. alright it is a skill i never attained, but it appears to me i am drifting further and further away from achieving it. once again, disillusionment. words can never quantify adequately how i feel right now. words are never enough to explain the thoughts racing through my head.
i am quite sure they are. my grasp of the language, my immensely tiny vocabulary is what really limits me.
there is the additional aspect of my inability to fully comprehend myself. i am unable to know to the fullest extent my emotions and thoughts. or maybe i lack the knowledge in language to be able to understand it all.
let the music play softly, disappearing into the background of the quiet garden, where solace can be found to those who need it. let the walls rise up and form a barrier to block out the distress of the world outside. let me sit upon that wall, back facing the garden, watching the world from my elevated place, to give me a false sense of importance. let me... let me... no.
no, not this time.
no.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:38 AM
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Sunday, January 11, 2009
suddenly i feel so disillusioned with it all.
the impression i get is that the everything that i have put in the past year or so has gone unnoticed.
true. i admit readily that i haven't given my best effort, i haven't put in all that i can offer. i have been distracted by something else.
but when i was there and present, i gave my attention, my focus. and i was around most of the time. isn't that the minimum that you asked for?
i guess it's not enough. fine.
i have a good mind to stop coming altogether and go for the thing that i've always wanted to go but always sacrificed for the sake of the very thing that has just made me disillusioned.
if you claim that my heart isn't there. fine i'll show you where my heart really lies. and there's no doubt about that after what happened.
but no, that would be simply irresponsible of me and i won't do that. i cannot abandon the other things i have here. but i'm beginning to reconsider my commitment.
reconsidering.
ee. urgh.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 12:31 AM
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Thursday, January 08, 2009
okay so this post is late.
A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D
it was a really happy day for me (:
i feel thankful for my friends!
yay
So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here
I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me
Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here
I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here
I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here
So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here
from where you are - lifehouse
a nice song. introduced to me by jiayi. thank you!
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 11:17 PM
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Tuesday, January 06, 2009
something bryan ong put on somewhere in facebook. oh well since i'm facebook apathetic, i shall do it here!
1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
moondance - michael buble
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
anxious heart - final fantasy 7
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
joy - david nevue (nahhh)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
cait sith's theme - final fantasy 7 (huh?)
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
silence - from the anime witchhunter robin
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
home - david nevue
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
kite - copeland
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
grim goodbye - the red jumpsuit apparatus (lol)
WHAT IS 2+2?
the way you look tonight - michael buble
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
there cannot be a close second - copeland (oh coooool! :D)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
promiscuous girl - nelly furtado (haha right)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
through the arbor - kevin kern
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
he ain't heavy, he's my brother - choirboys
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
the authority song - jimmy eat world
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
he wasn't - avril lavigne (:/)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
all the way - busted
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
hail mary - corrinne may (what the.. seriously.)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
pin your wings - copeland
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
runaway train - jaime scott and the town
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
kidnap my heart - the click five (haha)
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
the nightmare begins - final fantasy 7 (o.0)
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
feliz nevidad - sesame street
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
new arrival - from soundtrack of corpse bride
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
gira con me questa notte - josh groban (??)
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
here without you - 3 doors down
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
safest place to hide - backstreet boys
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
the right to write me off - amber pacific
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
immortality - celine dion
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
i need you tonight - backstreet boys
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
happy ending - mika
whimsical nonsense @ 12:33 AM
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Sunday, January 04, 2009
right if i'm not wrong this is my first post of 2009.
my internet stopped working on the 23rd of december 2008.
a day later on christmas eve, i went to toa payoh stadium for training.
but it was canceled. so we had to train on ourselves. three of us.
gregory, guang yong and myself.
we left our bags on the grand stand steps.
warm up 2 rounds. go back. guang yong's and my bag is missing.
it was stolen.
as a result, i lost a lot of things.
my 1 month old wallet :(
my ic and ez link card.
my less than one month old pouch thingy from my sister. an early christmas present :( :(
my k810i phone.
my first gen ipod nano and crossroads bijou 3 earphones.
my brown converse sneakers.
my all blacks shoebag.
my saucony spikes.
my pink acjc fun-o-rama shirt. the 08 one.
my white pair of reebok shorts.
random miscellaneous.
i have a new wallet courtesy of my parents. a new phone too. and i just bought the exact same shoebag yesterday. trying to rebuild my life by replacing things.
but then i realised that all those things i lost never really belonged to me. it was given to me and it can be taken away by the one who gave it in the first place. it was a lesson.
i should not be so attached to material things. instead focus on the One who really matters.
by the power of men, a lot of things that mattered to me were prised away. and yet no power of men, or the power of hell, may separate me from the love of God.
another lesson. i learnt it from. for a while. it didn't last. as usual.
i'm useless.
sc
whimsical nonsense @ 9:00 PM
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profile
Samuel Chan
7 January 1991
affliations
shuqun primary school
Henry Park Primary School
Anglo-Chinese School (Independent)
acdb8 / bb12thcoy / acspb / ac cross country
