Tuesday, January 30, 2007
i feel sad.
roughly the same way i felt yesterday.
and again like yesterday, i have no idea why.
i really need to stop leaving my curtains so wide open
because its really cold at night.
i mean i knew it'd be cold at night,
still can rmb sleeping in the tent during ltc2
since we had exco debrief, i was the last to go inside the tent
so i slept nearest the entrance.
only the mosquito net separated us from the outside world
i was in pe shorts.
i almost died. so cold.
and i learnt that the nights can be really really cold.
but then im in my room.
but then again, somehow my room is like the coolest in the whole house
at least compared to my sisters and my parents room...
and i can rmb, when i needed to wake up roughly at 7am, for whatever business i might have
proper business.
i would leave my curtains open, so that the morning light might wake me up
for i'll off my alarms (alarm clock + phone alarm) and go back to sleep
and i can vaguely remember during last year
the job attachment. i had to wake up at around 7.
but each time, i would wake up at 6.10
its scary how its always around the same time.
either biological clock (it was the start of the school holidays then)
or some weird thing. or i was too tired and look at the clock and imagined it to be 6.10
but i would wake up because its too cold. haha
and now the same thing happens.
or rather yesterday. it was a cool day already.
i decided to leave my curtains open instead of drawing them close
and i almost froze today
it was really cold. i was tempted to take my blanket from the cupboard
but i was too lazy to walk that metre or two
haha
i was just thinking. what if the same thing happens again?
it seems like its happening, differently.
its like once, some big big bear charges into you
and you go oomph!
and then get knocked out and really down and out.
then you got up and started walking
is it possible then some wait no
the same big big bear charges into you
but now he went sun tanning and is blacker (im not racist)
and so looks different
then you dont realise its the same big big bear
and you go oomph!
and then get knocked out and really down and out
again.
lalala
i just hope i can recognise that big big bear
i should have those identity kit thing that the police has in all those police shows
the chinese ones, like from hong kong
then you add in the noses, the eyebrows, the eyes, whatever else
to form a picture. with the help of a computer software.
but of course this is like
big big bear identity kit.
then you can choose the colour of the big big bear's fur
the eyes, wait no, they're black. normally.
then the facial features etc
and before long, i'll have my big big bear!
then i can file it into sam chan's archives
located in the back of his empty brain.
under the file "things to look out for"
big big bear.
and so if i tee tat big big bear, i tout for help
but definitely not from tat puddy tat.
ee's bad.
ok a moment of madness.
i can put a face to that big big bear!
but then i wont say names,
or in this case name.
ask me who he/she is!
maybe in private i'll tell you.
maybe.
but i have a feeing that regardless,
that big big bear is still coming
for a single sound of oomph! isnt enough for him
he wants me to go oomph! a few more times
until im weak. and on the verge of death
bad big big bear
bad bad big big bear!
tsk tsk looks like momma bear gotta spank you
*spank* *spank*
a saturday morning.
overcast skies.
cooling breeze.
a friday night.
crystal clear sky.
gentle breeze.
moonlight.
soft glow
illuminating the grassy fields
below.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:10 PM
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i realise i was really selfish.
and now i feel really bad.
but im still hoping you'd be able to respond more.
it looks like i can die and still be hoping...
whimsical nonsense @ 9:39 PM
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Monday, January 29, 2007
i wish you could respond a little bit more.
because you don't really know how much i want to talk to you.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:24 PM
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Sunday, January 28, 2007
a year seems so long,
all 365 days of it all,
add one more for the leap years.
which only makes it, longer.
each day just plods on, one by one
and before we know it, a week has passed.
a month, followed by semesters, then o.
its the new year. again.
and everyone starts commenting, again.
the year has really gone past
really fast.
zooming by. we look back, and images
more of the good ones than bad,
although there are the really negative ones,
but regardless, these images of the past year
flash by before the eyes of our mind
and we reflect. ooo i did this. ooo i did that.
im guessing there'll be a few oohs and aahs
not to mention more than a few i miss that...
and i wish i didnt do that...
how ironic.
i did that. on the 31st dec 2006.
i thought a year went by really fast
but i recall times when i thought things were
too slow. i wished the second hand
the mechanical tick tock of the clock
could be increased, to tick and tock at a faster pace.
instead of a tick and a tock, we have 2 ticks and 2 tocks!
so that things would pass by faster. but i realise
ok no. i admit i was foolish to even dream of that.
im a dreamer, and i dont make much effort to change that.
to bring the castles up in the sky to the ground
establishing them. fulfilling them.
and so i slowly go through the sad pits,
happily skip through the happier bits.
and i grow a year older, a year more experienced.
hopefully more mature.
and then i look back, again.
as always.
how much difference a day could make.
for i learnt that last year.
if a day could impact me so much,
i wonder how much so for a week. month. year.
and thats the reason why i decided to post.
for ive seen how much i have changed over the years.
from primary school, of which i have the "vaguest" of memories.
to sec1, of which it becomes slightly cloudy...
to sec2, where things appear covered in the mist of the morning
not the clearest, but good enough to see. and things appear strangely comforting
at least to me.
to sec3, where memories are clear. not crystal. just, like a slightly stained glass.
to sec4, with things either fresh in my mind, or slightly, say, expired?
i do things differently now.
i see things in a different light
for the better or for the worse, i cant decide.
but at least i have learnt new lessons
there was once, where i was really down.
and it seem like i was losing things.
my commitments were letting me down...
things, people, intangible subjects
were all disappointing.
and then someone told me.
about being sad.
how will you know happiness if you have never felt sad?
of course that struck me.
one of the few things of 2006 that i actually remember.
however it was knowing happiness that led me to knowing sadness
in the case of the person who told me that.
still. i have to stop dwelling on that.
for living in the past only screws me up in the present
and sets the screwed up path for the future.
ah.
i see.
with a wrong perspective
haha
whimsical nonsense @ 10:21 PM
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Saturday, January 27, 2007
im happy!
but not anymore.
ok im happier than normal state
which is neither happy nor sad
but not as happy
because of constant reflecting
ahhhhh....
now i wanna relax
HAHA
lets go play pacman!
whimsical nonsense @ 10:25 PM
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Thursday, January 25, 2007
to get sucked into that vortex
of terror! of fear! NOOOOOOOOOO
unfortunately, life isnt that drama.
reality is hard. i should have realised that by now.
the fantasy world i live in
the one created by myself.
everyone has their own, it only depends on what lies inside that world.
my inner most desires, feelings and emotions, thoughts.
not to mention a lot of fantasies
not those of a perverse nature mind you,
those more of what i would have preferred things to be?
like if i screwed up in some test, and then in that world of mine
i would like to think of what would happen if i did well.
well that is a fantasy, at least in this world of mine.
but at times, even this intangible world, immune to the cruel forces of this world
directly. can suffer
for what happens in it, is linked directly to my mind.
should i get knocked down by a car and go into a coma...
and my brain fails to think consciously...
where only instinct is alive, breathing, existing.
but not really living.
then the world dies along with it.
with this link in mind, is it suffice to say what im feeling now
is the state of my imagination?
should i be feeling happy, full of joy.
then my imagination reacts and starts churning out
images after images, of other happier, more joyous occasions...
which of course will most probably never ever happen.
should i be feeling down.
will this world of mine cease to exist?
for it seems to be the case. right. now.
my mind is too pre-occupied with so many things.
correction. with one particular thing.
but from it, a thousand and one things branches out.
and my inept mind fails to deal with the overwhelming and immense number of thoughts
that surround my mind...
scanning it, with eyes of a hawk...
circling with the attitude of a vulture.
like a tiger stalking its prey, ready to pounce at its most vulnerable moment.
i sense that moment coming.
its days are numbered i fear.
and i am powerless to do anything.
to protect my own mind from such torture.
indeed, you are useless samuel.
incapable of doing much. a good-for-nothing?
not quite. good enough to show others what NOT to be...
to show others what happens when you do something wrong.
but still lacking the ability to be more productive.
at least now i know my existence means something.
as little as it may be. however demeaning.
i can take comfort in the fact its something.
not much to be proud of.
for i still and will continue
to stand in shame.
but stand i will.
till my knees buckle
under this pressure. external pressures derived from the internal problems
within.
they draw strength from each other
as the victim stands helpless
as i stand, helpless.
it is still early they say
but i wish it ends sooner rather than later
for the sooner it ends,
the less i suffer.
what use is prolonging suffering? not much.
not in my eyes.
im too tired to fight.
i have tried.
too.
many.
times.
i have grown weary.
of the contant defeats i have been handed
by the same nemesis.
for once. i will admit defeat.
and be at your mercy.
you may do with me as you please.
it does not matter much to me,
for the value of myself has gone down.
correction, ive seen reality. and i realised i was living a lie
to see myself so highly.
now i realised what an arrogant fool i have been.
but now i realised my folly, and my shame.
so you may proceed with whatever you wanted to do
in the first place,
ever since you have tried to do so years ago.
it doesnt matter to me,
nor does it matter to those around me.
that im quite sure of.
for what can they see in someone like me.
full of flaws, hardly a good thing.
and again that in itself is a flaw.
and i cant stop it, for there is no good in me
to stem the flow of bad things
pouring forth, out of samuel.
on hindsight, i should have given up long ago
to have seen the futility in holding on
at least i hope
that i may be able to finally rest.
yes that i may rest.
a good, proper rest.
never to be awakened
at least in the near future.
lest i come to find myself
back at the merciless clutches of this world.
filled with the emotions, ready to tear your very being
into pieces.
no, i dont want to wake up
to a nightmare.
for im already in one.
for all i know.
ive been the nightmare to others.
i have a feeling that i have been a terrible one.
regret? possibly. probably.
maybe.
no.
must be.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:21 PM
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Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it look as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Why she had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday, mm
Yesterday - The beatles
whimsical nonsense @ 10:28 PM
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007
this is not good.
the uncomfortable feeling in the throat.
but i shouldnt complain.
for i know someone worse off than me.
i wonder how things will go on from here.
because i was confused.
now i see things clearer.
but im not sure if its just temporary.
this is not good.
the confusion about confusion.
and obviously i am not making sense.
so i shall stop.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:18 PM
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Friday, January 19, 2007
ooo i went for scgs's prefectorial board invest.
it was their 56th prefectorial board.
and i wont bore you with the details of it all.
but i must say the performance at the end was rather interesting.
it didnt start out too well i must say, but it definitely ended on a good note.
really appropriate.
and then we went for the reception, where all 4 of us
henry, kevin, adwyn and myself just took drinks
or like one cup only.
and then roamed around, wondering if there was a tour
and if so where the the guides...
and so we waited, to the extent of wanting to go off already
and then we decided nah, lets go ask, HAHA
and we managed to get kevin to do it
with 3 of us behind him.
well just as we were about to approach someone,
lynette (who isnt a prefect btw, but just a girl i got to know slightly over a month ago)
said that the guide was here.
and so well, we waited for a while, for them to get all the people
and then we went with plmgs.
with this really familiar looking plmgs prefect...adwyn suspects she's from y14...
well we'll never know...at least not now
the tour was quite nice, haha. our tour guides were really friendly
but i cant exactly remember the names..
angela, cherrie (or cheryl or something) and jasselyn? (o man im really bad at names)
i didnt know scgs had so many facilities and things...
and their dance studio is really big!
yeah
and then came the time to go home part
where everyone went home
most
and i went ngee ann city/taka to buy umbrellas
supposedly
no more stock
and i went home at 8+
reached home at 9. it wasnt meant to be that late
now im tired.
tmr ptm duty!
bb!
youth meeting!
ooo
whimsical nonsense @ 11:27 PM
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Thursday, January 18, 2007
ok i think i have fallen in love with
keep holding on by avril lavigne.
so far today i estimate i have listened to it at least 15 times. and its still counting.
omgomg i cant rmb a song that caught me so bad before
maybe except for my 2 favourite songs (of all the songs i know)
which are
here without you by 3 doors down
my immortal by evanescence
i think im not thinking properly...after ldp
i thought it was week B and brought stuff for week B
but its week A! man
and well. ok la. screwy day.
i hope tmr is better.
it better be...
if not eee
not nice. HAHA
things are not cruising
but its not choppy waters
yet.
for that reason im glad.
not to say im completely happy
because a number of things still
worry me.
adding those lines on my forehead..AH!
o wells.
hope can get those umbrellas.
man!
whimsical nonsense @ 10:06 PM
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Wednesday, January 17, 2007
each night of rains
never fails to remind me
of the year of pain
i went through
man that sucks
whimsical nonsense @ 11:06 PM
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ok im back from leadership development programme 2007.
where the whole sec4 level plus teachers went to malacca, not the city but the state.
because it is some ulu place.
that makes it 600+ people.
try handling that number.
it can make one go nuts.
ok there are 6 clans.
and 2 campsites.
at most points of time, 3 clans will be at each campsite.
the clans are
animals/cats: Jaguar, Cheetah, Panther
humans: Achilles, Hercules, Titans
we were divided according to classes, and each clan (except for panther) had 3 classes.
i was in jaguar.
and there would be a clan chief, with 3 assistants.
manpower, logistics and strategy.
followed by 2 platoon commanders, who will be in charge of the 4 section leaders.
who in turn are in charge of the sections.
basically we set off for malacca from school in waves. with about 5 buses per wave.
in total we have 15 buses and that makes it 3 waves.
i was on the first wave. along with jaguar and cheetah clans.
so we left off first, we reached yong peng first (for the break) and the campsite.
the proper one with bunks and all.
with weird food. and not so good planning.
we just slacked for a while. before doing something. getting into the bunks and all.
and closer to the evening (we arrived at 2+ btw)
we saw the humans setting off for the other campsite.
and we realised that the animal clans were staying at the present campsite first
while the humans will be going to the other place to sleep in tents
and taking part in the other activities.
we had belaying (is that how you spell it) school, which basically teaches you how to belay
which is..nvm i shall save my comments.
and some unreasonable trainers. and i shall not comment further on this issue of a particular trainer.
and then dinner, which was weird.
foam boxes. rice and fish. with no gravy. at all
a packet of veg came with it, a little bit.
thats all.
for vegetarians, exactly the same except without the fish.
we complained, the teachers complained, and so we were promised better food.
and granted, we never ever gotten the same kind of food
as in the portions, but well it didnt exactly get better
probably except saturday's lunch. the last we had at that campsite i think.
at least before setting of for the tents campsite.
so basically at the proper campsite we had 3 main activites.
rock climbing, abseiling and flying fox, high elements.
jaguar did high elements first
but we wasted about an hour waiting?
or more than an hour. it was bad.
people were becoming restless, including myself.
and started to think the camp was stupid (it started before then for most)
and in the end only 15 managed to do it.
out of a clan of close to 90.
basically its just climbing up and doing stuff. walk on ropes and stuff.
and then the afternoon it rained.
and well we just slacked in the bunks, sleeping and all
with some card playing.
and basically that was it.
the night was spent doing some hunt thing
half an hour to get the stuff
which was a lot.
20 items.
but 1 item was like 7 1.5 litre bottles
assuming that all items were in 7s, that makes it 140.
but of course not all were. some was less, like 3 prickly heat. others were more
like 20 caps.
and the aim was to earn points, which in turn translated into the number of water bombs we would have for the last day, the greatest battle between humans and animals/cats.
but more about that later.
and then we slept. haha
the next time jaguar did something major was the abseiling and flying fox activity
this time more people completed it, but there still was quite a number of us
who so far have not done either high elements, abseiling or flying fox.
i was one of those.
o well cant complain can i?
since i just sat there, and didnt really bother queuing.
they said we have lots of time, so everyone will get a chance.
so ok. i'll wait till the queue became less. and eventually i decided to queue
but then they closed it due to presence of lightning.
and even those that queued earlier didnt do it.
and before we know, that was the end of it all.
we left for the other campsite.
area cleaning. done
bags packed.
boarding bus.
travelled.
and met the humans for the first time.
we clashed (in cheering)
we died. got owned.
because we werent prepared.
but that wasnt really the point.
i think everyone was just glad to see their friends from the other classes
and the humans were like saying stuff like welcome to hell.
because the tents were small. could say rather stuffy
and worse, flooded.
not all, only the unfortunate ones.
and well a few of us had to wait quite long for a tent
because of complications that i will not bother to say here.
and my tent group, which was brian ong (some 4.1 guy), job and zhang quan
were one of those few groups who had to wait.
but i wont complain, since the tent we had eventually had a clean groundsheet
(at least better than others)
and later we found out its not one of those that will be flooded
and some people even bothered to make a sort of ditch around their tents
because it appeared to be on lower ground.
quite amusing i must say.
and then that night was just slack.
cant really remember what we did but i know that day was slack.
because we were meant to sleep earlier.
for the next day's activities.
again in that area there were 3 main activities
kayaking, rafting and nature trek.
for jaguar, it was kayaking, rafting on the morning and afternoon respectively
and the nature trek on monday morning.
for the rest it was just rotation.
so i would say we got the better deal because the dirty activities were held on the same day
kayaking and rafting, at the seaside, some beach. with mud.
stepping into it would make one sink into the mud up to the knee level
but they say its pure mud, not some weird brown rubbish but more of grey
something like those they use during mud spa.
i think.
and so we went out kayaking, took out the kayaks, and we were off!
i managed to get a single kayak, yay! more fun
and then did some activities, like forming an arrow instead of just rafting up
and i got a slight tan from that. ahah!
and then we went back.
where almost everyone just dunked each other into the mud
so majority of the jaguar people were covered from neck to toe in mud
wont say head, although a lot too had marks on their faces
haha
mr timothy lim dunked me!
man!
then i got kenneth ang
haha that was fun
then came the washing off bit
my shirt got owned, just like everyone elses.
the colour changed. haha
from cream/beige to some light brown i think.
and i didnt bother to change out
because in the afternoon it was rafting.
and so the encik told us how to build a raft
with 5 drums, 6 long bamboo poles and 9 short ones
and how to tie. he had a model
a small one. and i must say it was good!
so we set about doing the knots and all
and i didnt help much cuz i couldnt rmb the knots
too complicated. so the scouts took over since they knew most of it already
and we just tie and tie and worked in the sun
and get a tan! yay! (:
and then we got ready to set off
so we pushed the raft out into sea
went into the mud, knee level
and continued pushing
because the sea was really shallow, all the mud below
and section 2 (my section) was really fast
so we went out the fastest and before we know it we were first!
and we continued pushing, until the encik told us to get up and row
and so we did that
objective was to go around the encik, so he kept on walking further and further out
and we had to paddle even more
until at a point he told us to turn around and go
and some other section blocked us!
wah lao!
so we were lagging, both of us (the 2 sections)
while the other 2 sections went ahead.
but we managed to break free
and continued rowing
until the encik said ok we can get off and start pushing
recognizing the fact that it is difficult to paddle when the paddle hits the mud
so it was shallow enough
and so we pushed
and again we started to beat the other groups
and eventually we reached shore first
and started to untie everything and return everything
then the wash up again
and this time i went to shower.
speaking about showers.
the first night i just showered without soap and shampoo
due to the lack of showering cubicles, i used the toilets
which had hoses.
lots of other people did that.
second time. i showered properly, with soap and shampoo. haha
then the 3rd time, or rather the 3rd day i just powder bathed.
a lot of people did that because now that we were at the other campsite, there were a few reasons not to shower
1) we're going to get dirty tmr anyway, with mud, not much point showering
2) most probably going to sweat in the tent with 4 people, shower already get sticky in the morning
3) each clan was given only 20 minutes to shower
4) there were only about 5 cubicles? dirty ones too
4a) meaning you go in dirty and after you shower you walk out you're still dirty due to the toilets
yeah. i didnt shower. but after the rafting and kayaking, we had about 2 hours to shower
so i just queued up and took a good shower. haha.
yay!
then on monday they cancelled the activity (for jaguar it was the nature trek) because they wanted us to strategize and prepare to face the humans that afternoon.
o but before that, on sunday night, we cooked our own dinner.
it was meant to be in the dark, outside. so torches were a must
but because it rained, (the only time it did when we were there)
we cooked in the hall. with light!
and well my group died. the can sardines and scrambled egg were probably the saving food
haha
the rest were, edible. but not exactly the best.
and then we went off to sleep.
where things werent so good
groundsheets were dirty now, and wet
the clothes and towels we hung outside became even more wet
o wells.
and so we slept inside
this time more squeezy cuz job came in.
the previous night job slept outside with his sleeping back
so it was 3 of us inside him outside
now its all 4.
but i must say i sleep quite fast. haha
the first night zhang and job were still awake when they heard me snoring
i guess my nose started to give problems so fast already.
man!
and then woke up and yeah.
and so monday morning we just slacked.
ok no. we had to bring down the tents
and clean it.
and because of that we took really really long and got scolded by the instructors
and we had a lot of missing things.
but about 1+ or 2+ we were off to meet the humans
for the last great battle.
where we face off against them.
we reached there, slacked, until about 5+ when things started
so it was
Round 1
jaguar vs achilles
cheetah vs hercules
panther vs titans
each battle lasts for 10 minutes.
in round 1, the cats was the offensive team, the humans the defensive
for round 2 it was the other way round
Round 2
jaguar vs hercules
cheetah vs titans
panther vs achilles
ok im not sure about round 2 match-ups. i think they're wrong.
so basically there is an area marked out, the base.
and in that area there is another area, the flag area.
only one person is allowed inside, the flag bearer.
the ammunition is water bombs with green dye for the cats and red dye for the humans.
the defensive team is not allowed to go out of the base.
the offensive team is allowed to. just not the quarantine area
so they have to take the flag out of the area, for the offensive team to win.
or kill the flag bearer.
for the defensive team it was to kill the flag bearer of the offensive team.
or to have a draw. if it is a draw then the point is awarded to the defensive team.
the score went like this
the first is for cats, the second for the humans
1-0
2-0
2-1
2-2
2-3
3-3
then they got the clan leaders together and decide if they wanted to leave it as a draw
or to have one final battle to end it all.
it was a draw in the end.
which made everyone happy.
and they had vendors come over to sell stuff.
food and all.
but no ramly
because they were there cooking but not selling
because everyone received a free ramly at the end of the day.
haha so i wont complain.
and then after dinner we showered.
me, bank, fadhil, chuan yu and daniel
and some other people
the cubibles were all full with a really long queue
so we bathed outside.
take off shirts. and then shower. using taps, pails and ladles
haha.
so i had a shower without soap and shampoo, then a proper shower, then powder bath, then a proper shower in a dirty cubicle, then shower outside.
indeed this camp is rather interesting.
and then i waited. cuz i finished first.
instead of fadhil and chuan yu, who bathed 3 or 4 times.
meaning put soap and shampoo 3 or 4 times.
or rather they wanted to try out every brand. haha
and daniel joined them.
bank finished later. but before them.
so both of us sat and watched them. (so gay!)
then we put the stuff back and before long they were doing the movie screening
where they showed eragon.
there was meant to be night at the museum, but it was to late to show that
so yeah.
i watched eargon. and shall refrain from commenting.
and the stars for that night was good. the sky was clear.
and so there were quite a lot of stars.
not like that time when i saw in taman negara about 2 years ago
because that was just really really fantastic, with hardly a patch of the night sky without star
but this time was still good.
a clear sky. and relatively dark. yeps!
the next day was just cleaning up the whole area, and then packing, and then waiting for the buses before we set off.
and we reach school between 4.30 to 5pm
depending on which wave you were on.
going home was a hassle.
with the luggage
and an ez-link card with 80 cents
(i wasnt sure at that point of time, so i didnt really dare take bus to mrt and then mrt home, later not enough money)
i decided to take a cab. alone
i had no phone as i left it at home and my wallet had no singapore money
haha
so i borrowed a phone (while still at school)
and called home. so yipo was at home, and she said she'll wait for me
so she'll pay first.
so ok. i waited outside school for really long
before going to dover for the taxi stand
which was weird.
so i just walked on down to the next bus stop after dover
and manage to get a cab then.
but it was 5+ so there was a 2 dollars peak hour thing.
man!
so the total fare. $9.20
so expensive. but i was tired. haha
and then shower
and after that my mind went slow.
processing things really slowly and not thinking fast.
but i did watch the arena.
msgs vs st nicks.
where i knew all 6 speakers.
although only 4 personally.
haha its very amusing to watch your friends on tv.
but the motion sucked.
ive never seen/heard a motion as weighted as that
st nicks had one humongous job
which was to say we, and all the other teens in singapore
are selfish. driven ONLY by self-centredness
or something like that. but there was the word only or alone.
which made the task even more mammoth than it already was to begin with.
mediacorp. my respect for it has lessen.
o wells.
im home!
whimsical nonsense @ 1:15 PM
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Tuesday, January 16, 2007
ok i have to blog about ldp another time
most probably tomorrow.
since i was distracted by the msn convos
and the checking of my mail.
and it didnt help that my mind was going at a super slow pace
because....
i dunno.
but i know i was apologozing to people on msn of the typo errors
and long replies. cuz things just didnt seem to go through properly
so yeah.
so sad...
whimsical nonsense @ 10:40 PM
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Tuesday, January 09, 2007
happy birthday jonny! (wong)
(doubt you'll see this though)
it was another kind of full day out yesterday.
saturday was duty all the way. till 5+ before i went to church for youth fellowship
and i was tired. or rather later that night. my younger sis, myself and lenard followed uncle daniel and his family to lenard's place
and by then i was really tired
and after a while like say 30 mins? i fell asleep
so i went home and slept in the car on the way back
and that was when i got my first birthday wish
from kimberley! haha thanks (:
then i went home and slept almost immediately.
then i woke up the next day
went to church, then after that went westmall with a few people
and jiayi treated me to lunch at pasta mania. haha thanks man!
then we went btp to play pool
supposedly
(but not before i went to cut my hair, its super short now ><)
but it was sooo crowded we had to wait sooo long
that it wasnt much fun afterwards...
so it was lenard, ken, jiayi, myself, priscilla (my younger sis), weileng and weimin
joel had to leave while we were waiting...
we played one game
and i really died. 4 times i had the ball hit both sides of the cushion thingy and then roll away from the hole
4 times! man its so...
o wells
then i went home
before going for dinner with my family
its like for my siblings and i, each time its our birthday we would go out as a family for dinner
usually on a weekend, so its not always the exact day...
and the birthday guy/girl gets to choose where to go
i rmb i went swensens last year, my younger sis went crystal jade la mian (at jurong point)
and i think my elder sis went fish and co. but i was away for her birthday ):
and my parents too! ok depends. sometimes just the 2 of them go out. HAHA
so now we went ichiban boshi (i think) at great world
upon asking my friend.. *whose identity i shall withhold from everyone*
so yeah it was good
and we were all full after that
before we went to That CD shop
and browsed
like there were soo many CDs i would like to buy
but got one only in the end...
my gift from priscilla.
evanescence - the open door
its like some really old album but at that point of time i really wanted it
now hm. haha so far none of the songs are as good as my immortal
which i feel is their best song ever!
but i think generally its not bad...
and yeah so i was out for most of the day
monday.
henry and mark got me a mike..haha THANKS
go find out the reason..its amusing
daniel yee gave me chocolates. really nice one. aw man thanks!
and bryan got some mug thingy. haha so cute! thanks bunny!
russell came and gave me a hug during fall in (not a gay one, those friendly kind)
and apologised for forgetting, before giving me a piece of paper and a card
which was really encouraging, and a coupon. haha trust russell to come up with these cool stuff
thanks a lot!
and i had a really nice surprise.
during pe. when i was playing soccer (it was recess time already)
henry came and told me our prefect master wanted to see me
about certain changes. so i was like o..k..
and he dragged kevin lim along
so off we went to the sac...
and i was looking for mr bongard
before henry pushed me towards this corner of the sac
and i was still blur, and like huh? where is mr bongard?
before i saw mr eugene khoo and the rest of the guys
with a cake and 6 candles (im 60! HAHA so old already)
well that was really nice of them.
russell, henry, ellius, shuan ong, giddyap, kevin lim, joshua rene, adders, eka, and cant remember already...maybe thats all
awfully chocolate cake. really good.
thanks you guys! :D
and so the rest of the day plodded on
with lessons and bb day rehearsal and all
before i left for city hall
to meet my sister...
carrying my big bag and 2 shoe bags...o man
so met up, and went to meet her other choir friends. before eating dinner
which was light.
and then we went to the esplanade to watch The Real Group
which is an a capella group.
and well i was the only non-acjc choir alumni person...
so yeah it was kinda awkward
but i must say The Real Group was really really good
and the bass is like the best i've ever seen/heard
really really good.
next time they come i'll try to go down again
and i reached home at 11
tired.
at least today wasnt so bad.
but i was still tired.
tmr is bb day.
let's see how things go.
and im really getting rather confused over certain things.
no matter.
leaving on thursday for leadership development program (ldp)
to kuala linggi, malacca, malaysia.
will be back on tuesday.
whimsical nonsense @ 10:21 PM
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Friday, January 05, 2007
staff dedication service tmr
estimated 900 teachers
prefects on duty should be 57
with 2 overseeing, so 55.
it seems like we might be grossly short of manpower.
we shall see.
some afternoon high tea for parents tmr
estimated 300 parents
prefects on duty should b e 15.
with 2 overseeing, total 17.
it seems like we might be grossly short of manpower.
we shall see.
and how i do things are not helping much.
and there is only one thing i can do now.
other than to wait and see.
the pressing issues are really becoming more pressing.
and it is showing.
being more short tempered.
i dont think i am really very good at handling stress
maybe that is why someone once pointed out that i fail to deal with emergencies in an adequate manner/fashion
ever since i have been trying to work on that
looks like i need to work harder
i learn about myself more and more each day
and i see more of my inadequacies
and i realise i may not be the person i think myself to be
that i may not be the person others think me to be
but i shall trust in the Lord
and remember, whatever doesnt kill me will only help me grow
whimsical nonsense @ 10:51 PM
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Thursday, January 04, 2007
you know those chinese torture thingy?
or maybe its not chinese...
those torture thingies
when they tie you up, four limbs are made to spread out forming an "X" shape
and then they wind this mechanism up such that you are being stretched
so that your "x" becomes an "X" and your "X" becomes like i dunno?
1 body and 4 separate limbs?
*shudders*
and i fail to finish this blog post because i had to attend to other things.
whimsical nonsense @ 11:02 PM
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Monday, January 01, 2007
ok i was cleaning my room today
because my mom asked me too.
and frankly i wasnt too enthusiastic about it.
i mean who would?
and so i just did it slowly, and because i was a good boy
and also i know i'll never get through even the first 3 days of school with a table like mine
and i shall try to put some pictures...
i know the pictures are like out of scale or something, and it'll be for the rest of the post
cuz im just too noob!
and this is my table. before i started clearing up the mess
and that is the humongous stack of papers on my desk...
my hand is meant to give you an idea of how high it is...
because after every eoy paper, i just dump all the stuff i brought to sch to revise on it
and so it piled up higher and higher..until now
this is my table. and its still early, like 11+ or 10+
therefore it is super super messy! HAHA
and this shall be something like my "before" picture...
this is another part of my room...which is equally messy...
the clear up begins and as one can see, i moved the mattress away so i can have the bed thingy
to put all the stuff. actually this is like not all of it. still got a little bit more i think. and that by the way is a speaker. the one at the bottom. i was using my fully charged nano to play. and now only a quarter of the battery is left. the batt life is sooo short! i play music non-stop for say about maybe 6+ or 7 hours and already about 3/4 is gone. but i think my volume was quite high, 3/4 of the max, which is not what i normally listen to, so maybe i thought it'd be longer...
im progressing! the table is not so bad now...and i managed to fill one shelf after emptying all of them. thats my book shelf, like story books and all the Christian Books that i have yet to read. i aim to finish them soon! haha my discman is lying about i see...
ok this isnt much better. which means its still messy! -.-
but the landscape is a bit different! HAHA
i work slow man...
my table is cleared! finally! with that nice row of books still there...
of course the rest of the room is like really bad...
so i took out all of this years stuff and sorted them out into the different subjects...
...and filed them! so colourful and pretty! omgomgomg
and well its night time, as you can see from the black window...
and i finally managed to get things quite right now.
its definitely better than the "before" picture (this is the "after" pic btw)
there is still the man utd calendar that someone bought for me
and for personal reasons i will not divulge who (go ahead, try asking me, i'll entertain you)
and there is the acjc bear there i got from fun o rama
its in case when i do work, i wont be so bored cuz there is the bear! (:
the top bit isnt much to look at, because its like top left corner is for bb stuff
which i dont have a lot of at the present moment
bottom right is for prefects. which i also dont have a lot of at the moment
and the bottom left is outgoing homework, supposedly.
top right is weird stuff. like rough paper, song lyrics and guitar chords/tabs that i printed out
and this part is clear too!
ok not quite. but if you saw the before picture, the one with the mitch albom book
one more day *scroll up!*
you'll know how bad it was...
there is a picture of me as a baby there, very fat.
i wanted to take that, but then the cam batt went flat -.-
and then here are some random shots that i took while cleaning up...
its a cross stitch that i did in primary school during art class...
with miss chiang as our art teacher. i think it was primary 5
haha i just feel quite proud about it. cuz im not good at cross stitching. haha
and of course it brings back all the good memories in primary school...
haix
the view of my room. so this is what i see outside my window. haha i think its not bad
not say the best but the water bit can be quite nice to look at (:
all my bags! the deuter school bag. the billabong bag i koped from my sister
the converse bag i koped from my sister
the north face bag from vietnam and another deuter bag (school b ag 04) [under converse]
so in total that makes 5 bags! is that a lot...?
my source of entertainment. 2 lousy speakers connected to my nano (the blue thing on the floor)
it made the cleaning up sooo much nicer haha
and one of the many pictures of the rainbow that i saw
so pretty...
and im done with my random pics.
note: please ignore all the dates, think my camera is quite screwed
i must say cleaning up my room was quite a good experience...
haha throwing away everything...
setting up an "archive" where i have my p5 IRS file...
with pictures. o man i look soooo different in p5! HAHA
and all the RMUN and LTC2 and LDC stuff...
not to mention sec1 and sec2 things i think...
all the so called significant events...
and i threw away soo many stuff. a lot of last years stuff. all the papers.
now i like mytidy room.
i wish school wouldnt be there to mess it up. again.
6 more days to my birthday.
its quite cool actually.
one sunday its christmas eve and im greatly anticipating christmas.
did that at lenard's new house and later saw zoe haha
the next sunday its new year's eve, or the last day of 06 and again im anticipating 2007
although not with much excitement because school is starting soon...
and the next time sunday comes its my birthday!
3 weeks of supposed joyous occasions.
not bad eh?
hahaha!
whimsical nonsense @ 10:44 PM
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profile
Samuel Chan
7 January 1991
affliations
shuqun primary school
Henry Park Primary School
Anglo-Chinese School (Independent)
acdb8 / bb12thcoy / acspb / ac cross country
