along the cobbled sidewalks of life

Sunday, December 31, 2006

well i am typing this really early because i might be going for watchnight service later, and right now i am just not sure...

and im going to be one of those boring dudes out there who recap the year, but i guess it just helps me to remember all the highs and lows of the year, and might help in my reflection... so this is most probably going to be a long post.

2006

it started out at home. in front of the tv. with my mum sleeping in the room.
i was msging *insert name of person whom i will not mention here* and later called her too
along with all the bulk new year messages...
before i went to sleep.

school started not long after, with a new class, being in the upper secondary part (like finally!) and with the added year 5 level, which means girls, and not to mention a whole different syllabus since its pre-ib. but things didnt last long...

my birthday went by soon after, on the 7th of january... i still remember the dinner at swensens.. haha

and then came the day of leaving for vietnam. well generally i was excited. i was going to take a plane! and i know it sounds kind of lame but to me taking a flight is quite rare for me. so yeps generally quite excited. then going to vietnam some more. its like quite, intriguing, to go to one of those indo-china (is that correct?) places. and plus i was going with all my friends and some teachers of course, so it was quite say good (:
that was on the 12th of january, where before i left, i spent the morning making my ic. wah so exciting! HAHA so take the fingerprint and give the picture and stuff, then go airport!
then leave. haha
had one amazing time in vietnam! roomies with russell and daniel... and basically just had lots of fun in vietnam, learning about the culture, seeing all the coffee beans and stuff. it is probably one of the highest points of the year. and i wouldnt mind going back there, of course i need someone to help translate. but i think its quite a nice place to be.

i came back to the biggest shock of the year. and i shall not want to state it again for its just something i rather not put on something public like this.
and then everything from the highs of vietnam went down to the lows...
of course chinese new year was great, and of course there were many good experiences
i just don't seem to remember them clearly..because of the immense shadow that was over me, a giant black cloud that blocks out the sunlight everyone yearns for.
of course at times i see a ray here and there, some of hope, some of laugher and joy, some of just pure warmth... but most of the time it was dark and scary. and i was alone.
no, almost.
i don't think i'll forget (not in the near future) about the friends that stood by me during these dark times... thanks. you should know who you are.

and the whole first half of the year just whizzed past..
here are just some memorable events that i can think of...
dates are by memory, so they most probably will be wrong.. haha

prefectorial invest - 20th feb
julia gabriels, the whole debating tournament and experience - from around feb to late april
sec2 training camp - march
breaking of my toenail (1st time!) - during sec2 training camp *glances above*
ltc2 planning where i was made president of the exco - feb/march to may
british council's (debating tournament) - somewhere in april and may
some very often calling of a particular person - may
fracturing of left wrist - 4th/5th may (it occurred at 2300+hrs on 4th, went hospital on the 5th)
midyear exams which i screwed really badly - may

so far i can think of these only.
well they sort of shape the whole first half of the year, along with oep (vietnam) and the other stuff stated above.

my debating "career" in that sense hit rock bottom
only adding to the super depressing first half
where i became super emo and what not
and even cried a few times within those few months
which is like quite rare for me.
so within the first half of the year i probably cried as many times as the whole of 2005
shall not dwell on that.
so the whole jgs and bcs really shaped the debating aspect of my life
along with other stuff since jgs was really really big
and for the bb part..
well being in charge of the planning for ltc2 camp...
a camp planned by the sec3s for ourselves
that gave me quite some pressure and stress...
and probably shed some light upon on my admin prospects...
so that took care of the bb aspect
and for prefects..
just continued working in the student act committee
under the great leadership of now head prefect henry liu and now csm of the admin russell chan
my my, come to think of it that was some explosive combination! HAHA
and yeah thats about it.
and about academics,
it was screwing up..i was failing things
lots of things, and not doing well and getting 58% for the mid years just summed it all up
i was struggling.
at least my term one pulled it up to a 65.9% for the first semester.
but its still my lowest since coming to acsi. hm...

so that sums up the 4 major commitments i had then
- debate
- boys brigade
- prefects
- academics

o and by the way, after the fracture of my wrist, which is to date the most serious injury i have ever suffered, i gave up my piano.
i was scheduled to take my grade 8 exam in august.
i wasnt practising at all, touching the piano only when it was piano lessons.
once a week.
that was bad.
and i had no interest. come to think of it. it is quite sad
to give up when its almost the end, but then again i would have failed anyways..waste money
and to those who think wah grade 8 so pro
im not. i cant play properly because im not talented. i dont practise and well im just not musically inclined. period.

and then came june.
which was really fast.
june 1st was june act. where i made 2 new friends.
and i still keep in contact with them!
and had lots of fun! haha
and then the whole june was packed with activities

RMUN - 7-9th june
LDC cam[ - 9th-11th june
church camp - 12th-16th june

and then school started.
this time i tried to start anew...to get better grades
and so i tried.
i wont say i really succeeded but i didnt exactly fail that badly too. haha
and then it was mostly the difficult stuff of every subject already...
redox and electrosomething for chemistry
all the trigo stuff for both core math and add math
physics was just difficult all year round
yeah.
and well there was national day...
there was hwa chongs invitationals (debate tournament) which was kinda forgettable
and i think thats the few major things that i can rmb offhand now..
o and of course

prefects dinner on the 28th july
battle of the bands -21tst july

the 2 major prefect things. one really big duty
and another an annual thing.
and then trans council was announced.
and then the whole running for council thing.
where in june i made the painful choice of choosing prefect council over bb admin
so now i am the head of human resource department...
but do not have a position in the admin...
im still not sure if i'll live to regret it
i guess only time will tell.

it became september...

selection camp 06

the only major thing i can think of. and yeah the rest of september holidays was spent fretting over term 4
which arrived really soon

term 4

all the end of year exams. and lets not talk about grades
although they are quite decent, i rather not try to rmb too much of academics on the last day of the year
thats like how sad and loser-ish... lol
and then came the holidays

which i already reflected about in the yesterdays post.

so just some weird brief summary thingy.

highlights of 2006 for a certain sam chan (as in significant events, both good and bad)
- oep (vietnam)
- julia gabriels
- fracturing of my wrist
- quitting piano
- RMUN
- church camp
- battle of the bands and prefects dinner
- getting into council
- work attachment at alan shankar and lim
- council "camp"
- class chalet! yay!
- family vacation, the one on the cruise
- mcyc camp
- prefects eoy of camp
- the loss of my *insert stuff here. im not going to say*
- the academics part
- vjcs
- church's youth camp!
- making lots of new friends

for the last point. yeah. i made more friends since i joined the prefectorial board..
all the other sec3 now sec4 prefects
the sec2 now sec3 prefects
and also the sec1 now sec2 prefects
and along with all the other friends...
through debate...bb...and other stuff
haha

and now it is time for the new year

where everything will just be really busy
the way i see it

all the council stuff...
and academics...
debate...
bb?...
i'll try not to let go of bb...i'll try
along with other stuff, church i guess
i just wish that my walk with God will be a better one
and that i know Him better in the coming year

all the things im worrying about next year
i realise, is actually quite stupid to worry about
if i focus on God and commit everything to him.
i shall try.

as the new year comes in, as everyone ushers 2007 with joy and celebration
i'll try to not forget 2006
the things i went through, that should be good i guess
for someone once said, "if it doesn't kill you, it'll only help you grow"
how true. and since i am not dead
although suicide entered my mind relatively often this year...
i guess it'll only help me grow.
recalling all the blessings showered upon me from God above
i can only respond in thanksgiving and praise

i wish for the year
that my commitments don't kill me
that God will be with me in everything i do

i'm afraid. of what the whole year holds for me
and recalling how the year started, im not sure what to expect
it was just the lowest point in my life thus far
the first half of the year. and now im scared.
that things can only become worse. as is the case most of the time.

i missed watchnight service in my church. for it is now far too late to reach church in time.
i shall have to go into a time of reflection on my own.
and i now realise how good it is to reflect upon the year
for it is only then, you really see how much God has been with you throughout
and how He really has the best plans for you.

each time something happens, that is contrary to what i hope for, contrary to what i pray for
i start wondering, why?
and then i realise why. and then i think, maybe it is for the better then
and i guess it is really only when everything ends or is a thing of the past
then you really see the work that God is doing in your life.
i guess i'll definitely miss out stuff, because i'll never ever fully comprehend God's plans for me
but looking back at a whole year and seeing all 365 days
i guess it'll help me understand a bit more? i hope so...

now that i have done this post. i guess it helps me rmb the significant events of the year...

Happy New Year!!!
everyone!

May 2007 be a year full of blessings from the Lord!
God Bless!

sam chan

whimsical nonsense @ 8:21 PM

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Saturday, December 30, 2006

its near the end of the year...so fast
extremely.

it only seems like yesterday when the holidays started..
i was uploading the pictures from the camera into the com..
something i should have done a long time ago, and i saw the pictures that i took at
Alan Shankar and Lim, Advocates and Solicitators.
that was on the last day of work, when me and daniel yee decided to bring our cameras to take the moment.
when time freezes for us to record down on black and white (or colour) our experience there. my first work experience i think.
and so we did.
we took pictures of everyone.
jamie, the office manager. jean (i think thats how you spell her name), the person who has worked there for 10 years already. this other person, i cant rmb the name (o man!), who taught us how to use the typewriter. this other person whom i cant rmb the name too (argh!) who has worked there for about a year only. the youngest there and the one who worked with us the most, helping us as we go along and even talking to us when we were stoning. haha. then of course the 3 lawyers. mr alan shankar, ms lim poh choo and mr sarjeet singh. all of whom were really friendly with us. talking to us and making the attachment all the more enjoyable.
i loved that work experience.
im glad i spent 9 days of the holidays doing something i enjoyed and was still enriching.
of course it wouldnt be the same without daniel yee.
we really got closer i think (this is sounding gay already)
and we just gossipped even more, i played with his phone...and just did really weird stuff with our phones..calling or msg-ing ppl...

and then we had council camp
a one day thing, so it isnt really a camp after all
where the whole council just had lots of fun
of course we had talks by past councils
but the fun came in the amazing race bit...
henry and daniel yee
peter and adwyn
johnny and mark yeo
rene and alex
kevin and i
of course we were the underdogs...
cuz kevin injured his toe..so we could only walk
and walked we did.haha
and we were last, cuz we couldnt figure out the clue that we solved a long time ago
with the answer staring straight in our face
but then after all the photo taking...
travelling
talking
and doing the weird tasks we were made to do, we finally finished 2nd
and an overall 1st!
so me and kevy get the sparkling apple juice bottle.
yeah the bottle. which is a weird prize. HAHA
and mark yeo and johnny finished an overall 2nd.
that means HR rocks! (:

and then class chalet
all the fun stuff (go read the archive post)
and not to mention the pmb invest at st nicks...
haha some stuff i will not say here.. :P

the next week was just tuition and fireman and sana...
and then mcyc camp.
dunno what to say. but i made quite a few new friends...
and then more tuition...
with vjcs in between. on the 2 saturdays.
those small activities and stuff...

and then the cruise. which is like a family vacation
something we havent done in a long time since everyone is just so busy
and i was uploading the pictures too yesterday
i miss those times too... ):

coming back from the cruise have the youth camp
which was great fun! (:

and then end of year camp
which well was say, ups and downs.

i love this holidays!
all the activities.
i'll miss it.
especially the start. (:

it is going to be the last day of 2006 soon...

whimsical nonsense @ 11:59 PM

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Monday, December 25, 2006

whee its christmas!

and i know its late to post a merry christmas to everyone,
so i'll sort of forget about it.
go find someone else's blog, im sure they'll have it
haha

it goes to show how lazy i am
and therefore i am super screwed
because my homework is like sacred now
untouchable
or rather i cant
cuz im too lazy!

oo i went to watch curse of the golden flower today
and yeah, there were well, more than just a few heaving bosoms
its like so pushed up to make it look bigger
and jiggly? like erm, right mr zhang yimou (is he the director?)
what are you trying to tell us?
that asian women can have jiggly assets too?
and anyways, thats not the best part of the show
i think the best part is at the end
where everyone just goes insane then die
and the fighting bit
gold vs silver
sticks vs arrows
jay chou vs weird actor guy
and yeah that part was cool
and quite sad how they got owned
and how everyone got owned
even those who were suppose to own
ok im not making sense here

and i really need to get my eos done by tomorrow
im too lazy to do it now, tomorrow morning
then maybe got time to plan a bit
and also need to pack tmr for eoy camp

it doesnt exactly feel very christmassy

yesterday there was breakfast in church..then the normal 11am service
then went home if im not wrong
i slept. which is what a normal lazy pig like me does
and then before long we left for lenard's place
his new place, at high gate
and i found out that his new address,
is quite close to zoe's
like she lives one floor down
haha and so closer to going home
which was about 12+ i went to say hi
haha havent seen her for a long time...
and so yeah..we went to the see saw to play...
and had a few injuries..like lenard fell of
cuz it was too slippery
and so we stayed at lenards place till 12+
actually we went back to the function room after the playground episode
till 11, when we had to go out
so up we went. and stone a bit
i charged my phone, a bit at a time
to prevent a flat battery
so can mass sms christmas greetings, haha
i sent like 60+ i think, a few replied
close to 50...
yeah
quite fun
and his new house is quite nice...
yeah...
christmas is coming to a close...

boxing day soon...

whimsical nonsense @ 11:04 PM

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Friday, December 22, 2006

i was watching beauty and the geek 2, the casting call just now...
where richard and laura (i think thats her name) went around usa to look for people to join the show, which isnt actually a game kind of thing but more of what they call a "social experiment". and surprisingly it isnt actually just another reality dating show, like average joe or joe millionaire or whatever. because they dont actually date, they just have partners in the game to win money, and all of them live in the same place. of course some of them eventually fall in love, but most of them just become good friends. the geeks and the beauties. and when they did the recap thing for season 1, or show some sneaks for season 2, some of the girls were actually crying because they were so touched that they could become such good friends with the geeks, with one of them from season 1 saying that previously she would never ever mix around with such guys, but after the show, some of the guys were actually the nicest that she knew. and as the narrator said, it goes to show that one truly cannot judge a book by its cover.

but anyways, when the 2 participants from season 1 went to get people to take part, they went round the streets looking for "beuaties" and "geeks". so they look for some of the as the narrator puts it "even more clueless beauties" and "geekier geeks". and not all of them are exactly very pretty in my opinion. for the girls. but better than average, and definitely a kind of stereotypical beauty, with looks but no brains. i dont know why but somehow when they ask people what is the square root of 100, they think for a while before giving answers like 5 and 2. and they asked one girl, what is the sun. she said a planet. but just too hot, so we cannot go there. wow.

and i was wondering, if i would be able to qualify to go on the show as a geek. i look quite geeky, nerdy and all. but then after i saw all the people, i realised i couldnt. why?
because everyone was sooo smart!
it scares me to see people being so smart. i would die!
so yeah i dont have the brains to be a geek. how sad.
that means im a stupid nerd/geek!
which doesnt make sense.
so make that a stupid nerd/geek lookalike
which is even worse than a nerd/geek

o man thats so sad!
im so sad!

its christmas soon!
very very soon
which means
1) a lot of things
2) very little time to do homework
3) end of year camp is near
4) memories galore, ok im mad
5) i might get to wear the pinky stripey shirt!
6) i got to write those christmas cards and send them out soon
7) sending stuff? like sms?
8) *insert anything you deem fit because my brain is dead*

whee whee!
whee whee whee!
whee whee whee whee!
whee whee whee!
whee whee!
whee!
hee!
ee!
e!
!

someone stop this madness!

whimsical nonsense @ 11:23 PM

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came back from youth camp...
which is still on now...
it ends tmr afternoon, but because i have to be in sch tmr no choice lor
what fun!
had so many unforgettable moments

on tuesday, the advance party..along with jiayi
the card playing...
the *ahem* stuff...
the next day, when the rest of the youth came...
the getting into groups...and my group called ourselves superman!
cuz our leader jiayi was wearing a shirt with the superman insignia thingy
haha
and we so rock
i like the group members...
yay!

so unforgettable..

whimsical nonsense @ 12:24 AM

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Sunday, December 17, 2006

i really need to update my poddy soon..
but i very scared
cuz my itunes library 3.93GB
(go ahead, laugh at my small collection of songs)
but my poddy is like 3.7GB
so i need to do it manually
and so far i havent experienced that
and cound say one hand afraid to do so
and on the other hand lazy to do so
i need to walk across about 10metres? or less
to get the cable and the nano...
and walk back
so i dowan
but now now i really really must update
more than a month!
more than 2 months!
like before end of years...
so basically during these 2 months...
while on the com i can listen to the newer songs that i just imported
i have to listen to the old songs on the nano
sometimes it sucks la
o well
and now nearer christmas
i shall put in all the nice rockapella christmas songs
o man they're super nice!
especially have yourself a merry little christmas
i must get myself into a christmassy mood
haha
and go get the few christmas cards
to send to those few friends...

everyone is starting to emo now...
its such a bad time man.
and btw im one of those ppl
actually i only know myself who emo-ed today
and my fren. whom i was being a nuisance to
by being emo to her
and she was even more emo than me. so sad!
must be more happy
and thus listen to the nice nice rockapella christmas songs!

hand a shining star upon the highest bough

whimsical nonsense @ 12:04 AM

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Friday, December 15, 2006

Two days chasing me around
I go crazy when you're outside of my world
When you're outside of my world
No sounds singing me to sleep
I don't want the room to breathe
Just be with me...
Just be with me

[Chorus]
I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
And I know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough

My eyes are waiting at the door
Just like every time before
Time flies so slow...
Time flies so slow!

[Chorus]
I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
And i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough

It's not enough
It's not enough, I don't know why
It's not enough, I miss you all the time
And I know you kinda like it.

I feel.. yea.. 40 kinds of sadness oh when you're gone.

I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
I know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough

I feel just around the corner's not enough
I feel just around the corner's not enough
I know just around the corner's not enough
I know just around the corner's not enough

40 kinds of sadness - Ryan Cabrera

sometimes i feel as if you're not even around the corner.
and i wonder why.

but then again, for weird people wondering,
IM NOT IN LOVE NOR DO I LIKE ANYONE
at the present moment that is...
the stress is coming back.
i shall try to make friends with it.
wonder how it will go...

sam chan: hello stressy, how are you?
stress: heys, im fine...quite ok. stressed?
sam chan: yeah a bit i guess. by my standards its ok. for others i think it'll be very little. somehow i've never really felt a lot a lot of stress, compared to others at least.
stress: o man, looks like i've got to work harder on someone eh?
sam chan: *groans* please don't, its bad enough *laughs*
stress: fine. i shall spare you [of course this is what i want to happen..but we know it doesnt]
sam chan: yay good. by the way, do you ever feel good about yourself?
stress: what do you mean?
sam chan: as in you're probably one of the few things that every single person in the world possesses, regardless of whether he or she realises it. you determine to some extent how people lead their lives, whether they enjoy it or loathe it...basically you impact every single human's life. so don't you feel that you are of great importance and feel good?
stress: now that you mention it, maybe. but i dont think so, its not exactly the easiest of jobs, and you have like billions of clients so to speak. it tires me...
sam chan: aw there there *pats* why dont you go take a rest
stress: nah, i love what im doing, its sometimes great to see people pulling their hair out, getting all agitated just because of me...ahhhh
sam chan: you're such a sadist! tsk tsk
stress: yeah man, i dont deny *laughs*
sam chan: right. lets not talk about that anymore...you evil stressy
stress: yeah yeah..call me evil. whatever. its not like you're some angel..
sam chan: true. im more of a devil...a red devil fan! booya!
stress: omg another man utd fan. do you realise you cause a lot of stress to chelsea fans?
sam chan: nopes. but thats great! stupid chelsea fans, think their club so great...harhar rome wasnt built in one day, nor was this great manutd you see sitting at the top of the premiership..maybe a few more years ya?
stress: *laughs* i have been working overtime on the chelsea peeps. the manager, the players, the officials, and definitely the fans. it has been hardwork...
sam chan: good job! here a pat on the back for you stressy *pats*
stress: dont worry, there will be a time when i come for the manutd fans...*evil laugh*
sam chan: i'll be waiting then stressy, and then you'll realise how well we deal with stress...
stress: whatever. no one can stop me!
sam chan: no human. but i know someone...who has the ability to trample you
stress: ooo im so scared! *said in a mocking sarcastic tone*
sam chan: just wait and see...in the mean time...i gtg ya? bye stressy!
stress: yeah, bye for now, see you sooner or later. probably sooner *laughs*
sam chan: bring it on! nice meeting you stressy!
stress: sentiments shared. enjoy for now!

and that is the end of my weird convo with stressy
with sam chan being me and stressy being, me? haha
im bored.
and i wonder how i actually came to calling stress stressy...
o man i sound like a girl!
*freaks out*
should i have a bitch fit?

whimsical nonsense @ 12:05 PM

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Thursday, December 14, 2006

heys!

new picture
which i spent an eternity to do on paint
and even then its ugly
but i dont care!
its better than the snowflake i think
and i love it!
(cuz i drew it but well...lets ignore that point)

the thing in the red font is

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

(11 days in advance)

(:

whimsical nonsense @ 10:23 PM

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

ok im back. from a cruise
3rd time on virgo
2000, 2005, 2006.
and i say of the 3, this has got to be probably the most memorable.
like shopping! haha
went penang on monday...
since leaving on sunday
so from about afternoon. went shopping
bought a shirt.
as in the button kind of shirt. which i sorely lack.
that was my 3rd.
its stripey kind
first non-solid colour shirt
with different stripes (vertical stripes) of different thickness
red and pink
so its a generally pinkish shirt.
I LOVE IT!!!
and i bought new shoes.
which isnt exactly cheap.
but better than singapore i guess.
i wont say i exactly like it a lot a lot a lot
cuz i bought it as it was relatively cheap.
but i still like it a lot a lot. HAHA
and well everyone from my family had something
new shoes/slippers. shirt. dress (i think)
shopping is quite fun. but very very tiring.
and duh not cheap. haha
and we went phuket on tuesday.
thats where i got the shoes. from some sports shop
omg things there are still freaking ex.
like the adidas superstars are still 119 bucks!
like in singapore. guess i gotta wait till im richer to buy them
my first pair died. so i dont wear them anymore ):
but i still love them.
i love shoes.
and because of that, my younger sis calls me a himbo.
a HIMBO!
like what the...aiyah i shall ignore that piece of information
which isnt true.
haha

i shall not blog all about the cruise.
to keep stuff well, more personal?
at least not put everything on a blog.

and its back to work. gotta get down to it.

while i continue to recall the good moments i spent
with my family
and friends on that particular ship
called the
Super Star Virgo.

whimsical nonsense @ 10:38 PM

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Friday, December 08, 2006

i have rediscovered the old love

i have found out what it felt like

in the past. ah it feels so good....

really.

i miss you. well sort of anyways

whimsical nonsense @ 9:50 PM

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Thursday, December 07, 2006

so we had a spar with sc
2 debates
i told them come at 10
told the acs dudes 9.45
i was 5 minutes late.
my fault. reading newspaper. champions league results. haha
i saw aletheia (is that how you spell her name) at dover mrt
alone
at 9.35 or something like that
i was like wow, early.
and at 10. there were only 2 in acsi.
and the rest, they finally came at about 1030 i think
in a maxi cab. for 3 ppl.
i mean no offence but erm, maxi cab?!
like when i went to get them, i was like eh? is that them?
omg maxi cab!
wonder how much the fare was...hm...
and well it took forever for a debate to start
the deciding of motions...of who will speak...
cuz of well, a particular someone whom i will not name..haha
cause so much trouble la, wah lao!
of course im not exactly very pissed, its all those well
fake anger? ok i dont know how to put it
and i hope you understand. if you dont, well
too bad. my fault. i apologise.

a weird motion. which i didnt understand at first.
i shall refrain from revealing the line ups
in case some ppl hold it against me
but well, all i can say is weird.
the points were just slightly beyond normal comprehension
at least for me. but then again, my ability to understand things
is really low. so i dont count.
had debrief by lloyd and adwyn
and lunch. ordered macs
both sc and ac
although sc ordered first. and wow, i had to go collect for them
im such a gentleman...HAHA
ok im not. i have too many flaws to be counted as one.
and then when i came back, adwyn left to collect our order
which took quite long
and well i got my order. grilled chicken foldover meal
and i didnt finish fries. too full
gave it to nishad.
everyone had their order
save for ryan who went dover market to eat
as he doesnt eat fast food. like whoa! so disciplined
and nishad. cuz hes vegetarian
so he ordered big mac without the meat
and it just didnt happen
3 big macs..all had meat. so well..
we had to order again...which made adwyn quite pissed..haha
and we went for prep
in which i slept -.-
too tired. and i couldnt help much
then i went back early
to find that suzy stole adwyns phone...
and he had trouble getting it back
i accidentally broke aletheia's tic tac...
sorry!
and well, just rubbished a lot. before the debate started
finally.
and it was a weird debate again

ooo i watched happy feet last night
with my family
stupid nishad thought i went with one of my girlfriends
and he had to say one
to set the record straight
i dont have a girlfriend
nor do i have girlfriends
i only have girl friends
meaning...for those stupid ppl (like nishad! haha just kidding)
friends who happen to be girls.
which like most ppl have, right?
and i dont go out with any girls
except when there are a few girls, a few guys
usually more guys...
ya. thats a group outing. nothing wrong.

there are so many things to think about
so many emotions to grapple with
so many feelings to comprehend
i fail to think clearly
i allow my emotions to run free
and my feelings to control me.
im a wreck.
a wreck trying to gain control
over my "human nature"
to discipline myself.
im almost there.
but the usual distraction comes about.
the strong ones.
im sorry, you're really nice but i have to control.

HAHA ok if you know what/who im talking about, good.
if not. buzz off.
as edmond told me, dont be "kpo"
get the picture?

heehee im mad.
crazy. in my own way
o yeah

whimsical nonsense @ 10:19 PM

-------

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

it came so fast, so unexpected. but i guess i have sort of learnt to deal with it. as time passes the wound heals. as months go by, it stops bleeding. and now i look forward to living with just the scar. that hurts no longer. ah. finally. frankly it doesnt bother me anymore. i think about it. i talk about it. and i realise i dont feel about it. thats good. should be. and now i dont want to talk about it anymore

back to sharity giftbox duty..but for one day only. haha. it was ok, not too much work, like sec1, not too little work, like last year. so its ok. haha. i had a few interesting things today...ooo. but wont put here. if not my scandalous-ness will level up. or maybe level up a lot of times. haha. tsk tsk sam chan! why so bad one?

~~no use living in the past. no use chasing the wind. yeps yeps!~~

somehow today brings out the bad stuff in me...even when playing 7 hand poker with kimberley. but then again, its because she "cheated". not that its like illegal or something but then she didnt play fairly. its like sportsmanship for a team to kick the ball out of play when someone is injured. that kind of thing. so she didnt show sportsmanship, or for those who say im sexist, sportswomanship *if there is a such a thing, LOL* tsk tsk so bad la. then i always try to play as fairly as possible, with sportsmanship thingy. but then today dun care, then both become more unscrupulous, haha. and of course i lose cuz she is like some gambler. very very pro!
look so innocent, so nice (she is nice btw) but then tsk tsk like a monster with cards! AHHH IM SCARED! *runs to my bed and hide under the covers*

whimsical nonsense @ 11:12 PM

-------

Monday, December 04, 2006

haha im koping like almost all the quiz on rachel's blog. and almost in the same order. i lack creativity, i know... ):

You Are A Romantic

You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to.
Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you.
Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted.
Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?
that is like so weird. i dont think im a romantic. ahaha o well

You Are 38% Selfish

In general, you are a very giving person who treats others very well.
But at times, you insist on getting your way - when it matters most to you.

How Selfish Are You?

wow only 38%! yay im happy. but then again, lol i know im probably worse than that la

You Are 65% Open
You're a pretty open person - and you don't mind sharing the good, bad, and sometimes ugly.And while sometimes you do catch yourself blabbing on, you usually exhibit restraint.You're openness is quite refreshing, and it encourages other people to be open with you!

How Open Are You?

wow. i see. seems slightly more accurate now. haha

You Are 41% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person.
But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper.
And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful.
You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

How Angry Are You?

haha i got exactly the same percentage as rachel. hm i dunno how true this is. its very complicated. haha i realise that i dont really understand myself much...

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

hm. im not sure how true it is. these quizzes has soo many things in them that causes me to think. and thats not a very good thing when you're trying to be as accurate as possible...hm

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

ok i so dont get this quiz. one question. go do it to find out what question they ask. and tada! im a flu phlegm green rejected crayon...

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

i dont believe this. im not that weird. and the picture is well...weird. haha

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern

At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent

You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet

Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

heyhey! my caffeine addiction level is low! wow first time really correct. haha. the rest arh..dunno. im childish? lol maybe, i wouldnt know would i? this is my favourite quiz so far. wahahaZ

You Are Storm

Exotic and powerful, Storm descended from a line of African priestesses.
Emotions can effect your powers, but you are generally serene.

Powers: controlling weather, creating winds that lift you into flight, generating lightning

Which of the X-Men Are You?

haha im storm! so cool. i like this quiz too. but i think i'll stay as a male thank you. not being sexist but im too used to it. HAHA im not making sense here!!!!

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love...
But mostly you're looking for fun.
You could get serious with the right person.
For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

O MY GOSH THIS IS SOOO NOT TRUE! im actually not looking for anything right now. REALLY! playing the field? what field when im just a reserve watching in the stands? eh?

You Are 28% Shy

You are slightly shy, but overall, your reactions to social situations are normal.
You dread difficult social situations, but you still handle them with grace.

How Shy Are You?

huh im so not shy? i always thought im more of an introvert. nvm. i still find it weird when im all alone at some weird place. and this is base on experience! i trust me experience then this quiz. haha

Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino

Smooth and sweet, you fit in to almost any crowd. No one would suspect you of being a coffee tweaker!

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

now im not just any old frappuccino. im a caffe vanilla frappuccino. HAHA im going crazy over these quizzes...

Your Heart Is Orange

Love equals unbridled happiness for you. You enjoy the wild ride of falling in love.
And while the ride is fun for a while, you always get off once the thrill is gone.

Your flirting style: Hyper

Your lucky first date: Anything you need your passport for!

Your dream lover: Is both daring and well grounded

What you bring to relationships: Energy

What Color Heart Do You Have?

erm ok. another so not true thing. im not really a very good flirt. feels weird to go up and talk to some unknown girl that i have the hots for. so can i even flirt in the first place? at least i dont think i can do so in a good way then. and i dont quite enjoy the what? *scrolls up* wild ride of falling in love. yes. crazy. im scared of getting hurt already. thats why im staying off relationships! haha

Your Sloth Quotient: 48%

You're definitely lazier than the average person, but you're able to live a somewhat normal life.
All your life needs is a little more effort and variety, and you might see that doing hard things is actually fun!

How Much Sloth Do You Have?

yay yee! i like this quiz! as in the result. haha so cool!

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.
Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.

You are best known for: your touch

Your dominant state: changing

What Type of Weather Are You?

i like this too! but i doubt im sexy. lol. warm? cold and unwelcoming. hm sounds a wee bit like me. haha i hope this is true! haha

Your Stress Level is: 40%

You are slightly prone to stress, but generally you keep it under control.
You know how to relax and take things as they come, even when your worlds seems to be falling apart.
Occasionally, you do let yourself get stressed out, but you snap out of it pretty quickly.

How Stressed Are You?

haha i dont think the percentage is so high. but the description is definitely quite right. whee!! now you know more about me!

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible