along the cobbled sidewalks of life

Friday, September 30, 2005

yay!..today honours day...
and i received something...
although its only certificate of merit..for debate
hey!..its still something right?
and im only sec2...
though theres this sec2..sch colours for rugby..swimming and track and field
whoa!...pro guy...
but nvm bout him..some ppl r born to b great..some r not
like me!
so well..shall bask in my averageness...
hee hee =)

but...m i really average? like duh hope not
but i feel so happy!
i got cert of merit for debate...
then earlier on national day celebrations...
i got bronze award for boys brigade...
although its like the lowest anyone can get for both days..
at least i get something...
whee!..i love my ccas! =)=)

on a not so happy note
im a sad boy...not yet
exams r like round the corner...
so muz not mug like mad...
cuz that would be counted as runner
and as u noe..u shudnt run when near a corner
if not u'll like get a crash course...literally
soo...based on this warped logic..i shudnt mug like mad
butbut!..base on not-so-warped logic..
mugging like mad would help me do well in the exams
which r round the corner..
and corners are dangerous...to a certain extent
this is so because on one hand...blah blah blah
however..on the other hand..blah blah blah happened
overall...i think that it is dangerous to quite a large extent
although there r certain points to show its not dangerous.
sry...juz reminding myself of how to answer source base questions
but pls dun get me wrong
so far i havent mugged a lot
like about 1 hour everyday for bout...4 days a week only!
and thats for term 4 week 3...week 1 and 2..lets not talk bout it kaes?
sososo?
im gonna fail!..ok..maybe not fail..but i'll mayb miss my target
to get a year-end overall average of abot 70%...
which in a non higher chinese gep class like mine...
its quite gd...
for gep...60% is ur passing mark..not 50%...
above 70% is quite gd already..above 75%..well..very gd
above 80%..thats like whoa!
soooooooo...i wan an above 70% overall average...
and...get 3rd in class...although i wouldnt mind top5...
although my class is like 22 ppl...some might say its easy
but for a stupid guy...like me! *hehe*
who was in sci remedial..chi remedial...eng remedial in pri sch
and considering psle was these 3 subjects plus math...
well...u can roughly tell my standard in pri sch..among the geps only
i was like..always last in chi..except for some guy who always fail
cuz he has some learning prob for chi...
eng very weak..along with sci...although was in advanced math...
its not exactly THAT strong...
was one of the worser ones in pri sch..never dreamt of being in top10 of my class
although in pri sch its only bout 20...
but always focused on not last...
so...since sec1...i have been doing quite well..better than my expectations in acsi
and like...did relatively well..last year 8th in a class of 23...
for my standards it is...never like so gd...
then this year term 1...tyco got like 1st in class...
everyone else off form while im on form..
then after that suddenly got pressure!
term 2 dropped to 3rd..overall so far still 3rd...
term 3 still 3rd..though my overall average dropped...
sooo..im aiming for 3rd...ah...
but got stiff competition
from jason..perry lam!..sbk
my very very gd fren...waddy aka adwyn aka badbad aka baddy etc
hes a smart boy..and quite hunky..heehee...
of course in my opinion..and im not gay!

nways..shall go off now..thats a rather long blog post dun u think?
heehee

not gay sc =)

whimsical nonsense @ 7:47 PM

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Thursday, September 29, 2005

hello hello!
im back!
miss me?
wahahaZ
fine..im like back for a short while...
thanx for all those who tagged...
heres a
BIG HELLO! =))

i know exams are here...whee!(?)
o well...i havent mugged as much as i would have liked
like only bout 1 hour a day...i mean mayb 2?
but a lot of homework!
during exams..u still do homework!
like wah!...but of course..i still do hw
it helps a bit in revision..but o well

o...gtg now
bye!..cya to all here
continue tagging if u wan to...thanx =)

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 11:20 PM

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Monday, September 26, 2005

o well
wont be going online for quite some time
mugging..or at least making an attempt to
so..blog hiatus
heh

good luck to all for EOYs

rmb, trust in the Lord!

whimsical nonsense @ 10:50 PM

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

in doubt
for too long
show a sign
i'm begging you
just one sign
to clear all doubts
that these grey clouds disappear
becoming rain clouds
giving way to the sun
it doesn't matter
as long as a clear answer
i get
thats all i want
all those time
i don't know whats you're view
how you feel
i want to know
if you feel the same way
please show some sign
this i ask of you

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

wishful thinking
all on my part
giving me hope
false hope
i see happiness
i feel misery
pain
i know it can never be
yet a part of me
still wishes dear
dreams
every night of this
but all dreams end
like so
back to reality
it hurts
i know, expected it
but foolish to let it go on
stupid to believe
the impossible
will never happen
wake up i try
failure i end up with
foolish to never lose hope
holding on
to that glimmer
even when surrounded by darkness
enveloped
save for that spark
i hang on
only to get hurt
pain i feel
yet still
holding on

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 9:44 PM

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Monday, September 19, 2005

whee!
lalala
so bored...and no..i dun wanna go mug
i noe i muz go mug..but nopes..i dun really wan to
like who does firstly?
and and...my brain says..go mug!
my body is like...nah..too lazy
and then when my body is like..fine!..i go kaes? happy?
then my brain is like...try to absorb...
but cannot...nothing goes in
then my body obliges and say..never mind..and leaves
and tada!..i tried to study...
but never really did..haix
i think im the cram guy..ive never started so early!
the earliest ive ever started studying is like 1 week before...
2 weeks?!...very difficult..but try
but next week will be cram!..study like mad..hopefully

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 5:45 PM

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Sunday, September 18, 2005

Just like I predicted
We're at the point of no return
We can't go backwards,
and all corners have been turned
I can't control it if I sink or if I swim
'Cause I chose the waters that I'm in
And it makes no difference,
Who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want

If it's not what you're made of,
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing, but unable, to give me anymore
There's no way
You're changing
'Cause some things will just never be mine
You're not in love this time, but it's alright.

I hear you talking,
but your words don't mean a thing
I doubt you ever,
put your heart in anything
It's not much to ask for
To get back what I put in
But I chose the waters that I'm in
And it makes no difference
who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want

If it's not what you're made of,
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing, but unable, to give me anymore
There's no way
You're changing
'Cause some things will just never be mine
You're not in love this time, but it's alright.

What's your definition of the one
What do you really want him to become
No matter what I sacrifice it's still never enough
Just like I predicted
I will sink before I swim
'Cause these are the waters that I'm in

If it's not what you're made of,
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing, but unable, to give me anymore
There's no way
You're changing
'Cause some things will just never be mine
You're not love this time
If it's not what you're made of,
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing, but unable, to give be anymore
There's no way
You're changing
'Cause some things will just never me mine
You're not in love this time, you're not in love this time
you're not in love this time

lucie silvas - What you're made of

whimsical nonsense @ 9:19 PM

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Saturday, September 17, 2005

whee!
me and bryan got bronze for smp
though poor acsi didnt get anything else
we should try sending more groups of ppl next time leh...
really...
but o well

shant list out the activities of the day...quite meaningless
i met up with eugene khoo..as arranged at j8
and henry..russ..bryan..ellius..darrell..kevin wong..zhang also went...
to eat lunch after the smp thing...yay!..more frens..though i left earlier
to walk to ri..haix..with half-eaten long john silvers meal..and a drink..wahahaZ
eugene khoo soooo nice..
give me a wallet...as in give...
then refuse payment back...wah..very nice guy
nice senior...whee!
im so blessed with nice seniors..then got keewui...
and all the other warrants...who are nice too
and the staffs..though not close to some..or actually most..
then db8 have paul..sam..sean...josh..kaleni..auggie..jlau..
so cool..wahahaZ

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 11:09 PM

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Thursday, September 15, 2005

yay!
i finally start revision
although its juz 45 mins..
but hey!..at least i started
whole week been wanting to start
but no motivation to
i was like feeling guilty cuz im slacking...
but didnt do anything
o well...im trying to get into mugging mood
first step there...
mugging mood..hope ur in one too! =)
hope u do well for ur eoys =)

mayb shall have a blog hiatus soon..next week i think
and term 4 week 3 no com for me..
i go full time mugging..hopefully
so yeah..good luck guys..and gals
y so little ppl tag..wahahaZ..i not nice arh?
dun worry..no more admirer already...=p

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 11:04 PM

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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

okaes..prefects interview over..
haix..i was last...
last to enter the room...last out of all 50 interviewees
quite suay..but i think russell even worse..
not even supposed to stay back..but went by chance
then like..o!..go help henry...
then he stay back until like 6+...almost as late as me..but i was later
but the interviewers..as in the trans and the prefects were later still
but haix..i wait so long...quite bored..and last leh...o man
and was very nervous...
muscles tense...i was sitting up straight..not at all relaxed...
haha..dunno how..juz hope can go through...
everyone started mugging!
and me?
slacking...wat m i doing about it?...feeling guilty
anything else?
nopes...juz feeling guilty..i wanna mug!
i wanna study
the mind is willing the flesh is weak
as usual...
o well
gd lucks for all taking eoys
which is almost everyone
study hard!
get good grades!
go you! =)

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 10:05 PM

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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

o..prefects interview tmr..so exciting..
hope dun screw it up..cuz i wanna be a prefect...
dun ask y...im not very very sure y..but more or less
hope can get pass..hope can become a prefect
o well..if its in the Lords plan for me..
wadever happens..may it be in accordance to his will

haix..i dunno if i shud eat more or less
i dun wanna lose weight..at least not now...
and i dun wanna put on cuz im fat as it is..
nvm...weight another day
focus on eoys first...
muz get 3rd in class..or at least top 5...
though to like be 1st in term 1..3rd in term 2 and mayb term 3..
then not be 3rd anymore..great disappointment for me...
muz start mugging..get into that habit..
and no more com...
that means no more msn..noooo!
no more blogs? noooo!
haix...sad...
i love msn msg! lolx

haix..i said i wanna stop
i said i will
but now i find it even more difficult
i noe the consequences
the pain..the foolishness
the realising of stupidity after reflection
i must stop!
i dun wanna to get hurt again..and again
but yet i think there might be this chance that i wont
but if i let you go, i will never know
yes..i will never noe
whether its pain at the end
or happiness
either way..i dunno which is best for me
either way..life goes on...so..no diff
shall let life continue
shall let everything go on normally
lalala

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 10:43 PM

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Friday, September 09, 2005

okaes..mayb more time now..hope so
well..prefects selection camp was quite good
all the push ups..holding it there...knocking it down
changing to crunches...
though more of the holding in push up position butts up knees straight
on the hot track..with its protruding surface..causing pain
worse...the parade square..those rocks..and the immense heat
thats is pain...pain ladies and gentlemen
but..but..pain that is tolerable...and i simply dun understand why people convert to crunches so fast
wah!..palm pain..so i need to convert...
all the other nominees still in push up position...wat?
dun feel pain..dun feel heat?
i was in pain!..i felt the hot ground!...i was suffering!
yet i tried not to change...not to cheat anyone..
but more importantly...this pain is nothing!
nothing compared to the pain Jesus had to suffer for our sins
on the cross..nails through wrists...feet...bleeding!
there was no blood, barely any blisters...no peeling of skin
yet everyone is complaining...i wonder what happened to acs boys
o well...shant dwell on that
it wasnt THAT tough..but not slack either..no way...
i made a few mistakes...as all people do..hope still can become prefect...
but o well..at least i noe the cheers by heart now..all 9 of the main ones
ive lost my voice...an experience for me...got a tan...
butbut..at least now i know how to cheer properly...
now hopefully we can make a difference next year..get back that B div Rugby title...
for 2 years we lent it to st andrews...hey!..give it back!..uve borrowed it long enough
haix..but our cheering..as a batch sux
all the instructors like scolding us..cuz our cheering sux..big time!
no coordination..no cooperation..no communication...
what is this?!
i feel quite cheated too...if wat the instructors say is true...
some people juz mouth the words..or dun even open their mouths..or juz say..not cheer
wah!...then other ppl cheer their lungs out for wat?..they lose their voice for wat?
eeyer...though i think most did cheer...but still..
dun cheat ur frens!
get ur knees off the ground!...cheating ur frens izzit?
been there..done that...at BB ltc
hold there..encourage the weaker ones...all in prefects selection camp
same thing in BB ltc..wah!..thank BB for preparing me for all these push ups
but still..palm pain..first time!
haha..but o well...im a man!...not a boy...
as russell peters said..be a man!
wahahaZ

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 6:12 PM

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Thursday, September 08, 2005

ah...prefects selection camp..2005...
rather slack i muz say..compared to horror stories last year..
haix
no time..noo
ok..next time i blog more kaes?

whimsical nonsense @ 6:52 PM

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Sunday, September 04, 2005

im sick and tired of all this
ive lost hope, almost all of it
ive made my decision
its not final, but still, its been made
im going to stop it all
whatever is remaining, will be gone
all these thinking, wishing,
its all on my part
no way am i going to let that happen
not anytime soon
its stupid, im stupid to let it happen
im so stupid to be so optimistic
all these times, years even
i was a fool, a foolish optimist
all this while
all those hopes i harboured, crushed
in the first place, they were just hopes
never realised, never will be
why do such things exist?
only to make people feel the hurt it causes?
a few times i have been hurt by it, not the full extent
but bad enough, bad enough for me to stop believing in such things
i know it works, ive seen it, experience it
it was good while it lasted, but it was so short
for all one know, it could have been a fluke
not a real thing, possibly to prolong my stupid belief
well now, i have seen the negative side
more than 3 times, its bad enough for me
i dun wanna go through it again
all the hopeful thoughts ive had
only to realise it was all in vain
they were juz wishful thinking
it was never going to become reality
but i was stupid enough to believe in it
just like a kid believes in santa claus
how i wish i could be like them
so innocent, happy, believing in things that dun exist
but ive realised that ive been foolish
sry for using the same word over and over again
but i cant think of any other word to better explain
how stupid i was, to believe in this "santa claus"
we all outgrow such belief
but this is not a outgrow thing, some believe in it
some still do, some seen its bad side, they still hold on
well, im not going to
simple reason is, i dun believe in it already
i find it really stupid, all your energy placed in it
or some of it, your thoughts centre round it
and then in just a few short moments
it can all come crashing down
and there you are, buried under that rubble
hurt, bruised, at a loss
im quite sure ive not experience the full force
but i felt a small percentage of it
and i dont want to feel the full thing
its stupid to carry on
its stupid to think of what might happen
when deep down you know they can never come true
deep down, its all just wishful thinking
in the future, i can be this, this can happen
lalala, in the future, you are certain not that
whatever you think will happen, can happen, doesnt
im so sick and tired of feeling like this
i cant help but still hope, be optimistic
whenever i still believe in it
when i still have this thing
and yet i know its just thoughts, hopes
which will not come true
i dont want to think of such things
but i have no will over these
im being repetitive, im sry
yet im being foolish, im sry to myself
for fooling myself, for thinking it could all be
that happily ever after
who said life is going to be a bed of roses?
i know its not going to be
ive gone through other hardships
not that hard, like what others are going through
im really fortunate, seriously
for that im glad
but im not glad that im the fool again
stop it
now!
im dont want to experience all those again
those wishes, making me a bit more optimistic
but i know it wont happen
i know its going to hurt me in the end
one way or another, it might seem good
like it did once, and it was good
im not going to believe that such things can happen again
im going to say goodbye to you, this belief
too long have you done harm to me
too long have you hurt me
too long, that you have destroyed my hopes
so long
if we're meant to meet again, may we meet
but for now, my decision has been made
im sick and tired of you
you who has fooled me
by the way, this you is the belief, not a person
for now, im going to stop all optimistic hopes
concerning whoever, concerning whatever
that concerns this foolish belief ive held over the years
sick and tired.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 11:12 PM

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Thursday, September 01, 2005

o well...finished piano exam!..yay!
didnt go too well...but not that bad too...
haha..mayb can pass..mayb cannot..really hope can...
but its over...only God can make a difference

its all in His hands.

some replies to taggies!
elisa -- haha..wadever...blue and cute..wahahaZ...somehow only you think that way..eheh!..of course joking bout the admirer and love notes lah..haha
aunty -- hi aunty..yeah..duh not a love note haha...fine..ego..humph!
zhixin -- wah!..so coincidental..but i bet shes better than me..even rach is better than me already..
rach -- yah lah..pro!..humph!..and i bet by next year u'll overtake me in debating..o dear...
ying ling -- heyas! haha thanx..i like the layout too! thats y i chose it..duh..thanx...yeah..hope to see you around! =)

o well...teachers' day
woke up early...cuz adwyn supposedly come at 8..but nooo..his father went to work late...so he also come late..then owman..supposed to come at 8.30 came at around 9..haha..both of them about 30 mins late...so cool right?
and we managed to do more..like the whole poster...in less time spent last tuesday..where we all like slack..play games
wahahaZ
yay..go adwyn!..go owman..great members they

idp tmr...i quite like our poster...hope we can get to the lt part
would be great experience...
and sungei buloh beach cleaning!...whee!
quite fun actually..haha

o..today i went running!..about 3.5 km..or less...haix
i wonder if i lost weight...
o..and i reached 51kg...first time since i passed it...
yay!
the "dieting" for monday tuesday and wednesday..worked..i guess
like from breakfast to dinner that period..never eat recess..and eat very little..
except wednesday...i guess...
so far only spent 70 cents for monday tuesday and wednesday...a drink on wednesday..
yeah..muz keep up the effort
then mayb can reach 50kg...
butbut...not at the expense of my muscles...not that i have a lot
but muz maintain..if not next year napfa..all degenerate already...
then how to challenge hunk adwyn? wahahaZ
o well...lead a healthy lifestyle...
i wont go gym or wadever lah..juz..try not to get too fat
not eat too much..
i wan that flab round my stomach off!...die flab die!
*stabs with knife*
or mayb not...self-inflicted pain...ouch ouch!
and killing the healthy organs inside...mayb not..after all the junk food ive been eating
o dear...i dun wanna stab myself already...
ok..like who would?...other than those suffering from depression...
or for some unknown reason feel suicidal
heys..if u do..dun!
look at the F.Y.I page..got all the hotlines..the help hotlines
go call..if u really do have a problem...
o well..for all those who have problems..
like who doesnt?
all the best!
give them to God..no problem too big for him!

yeps...o well..happy hols..happy last day of term 3...
happy period-before-time-for-mugging!
gd luck for EOYs...gd luck for any exams coming up
aiyah..gd luck for everything that u believe needs gd luck lah
=)

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 9:54 PM

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