sc | i lost it and will never regain your trust back. that hurts.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

no one said life would be easy.

does that mean that they're correct?

i'm very much inclined to believe them. i'm guessing the reason why no one has yet said life will be easy is because somewhere in their own lives, they've encountered some kind of difficulty.

maybe it's difficult to find food for sustenance.
maybe it's difficult to make ends meet.
perhaps it's difficult to have enough disposable income to satisfy one's material wants.
maybe it's difficult because they find no meaning in their lives.

whatever the reason may be, it always boils down to how life isn't that bed of roses we all wish it would be for.
or maybe it is.

life is a bed of roses. we all lie on it. and yet we fail to realise that beneath the lovely petals of the flower, lies a stalk lined with thorns. just imagine it like a flowerbed. the stalks are the coils of spring supporting us while the rose itself is the thing we lie on.
using the cliche metaphor that roses are good while thorns are bad, i guess one could say life is full of positives and negatives.
so all we need to do is to focus on the roses, ignore the thorns.

and yet. going back to the image of the bed of roses, it is the thorns that hold us up.
it is the bad things, the undesirable stuff that we all bury underneath in our lives.
we try not to recall them, we try to ignore them.
but they're still there.
and essentially they're the things that form the support of our lives.

whatever. i think i'm not making sense here.

this is not good. never was.
i'm not ready to progress. i never am.

life waits for no one.
perhaps that's why it's never easy.

i find it difficult for sure.
and that's why with regards to me,
no one still, has said that life is going to be easy.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 12:21 AM

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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on

world spins madly on - the weepies

just another song i discovered, thanks to marissa.
love the lyrics.

i only have 2 more papers left. and yet i already feel the slackness overcoming me. it is difficult to study. it was always going to be difficult. sigh.

random note. it's much easier to calm myself down before a run than before a paper. even if the subject is one that i studied for and like.
oh how i wish i could return to those days.
now i'm some fatty.

yeah you have become beautiful

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 9:55 PM

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Monday, July 06, 2009

math paper 1.

it begins tomorrow. i'm about halfway through my demise. come next monday, math paper 2. my destruction shall be completed.

let my existence be wiped off from the face of this very earth.

(not literally)

this is not working. sigh.

whimsical nonsense @ 11:44 PM

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Wednesday, July 01, 2009

i'm only blogging because i've decided to go online while watching tv.
i've never really felt like freaking out so much in such a short period of time. and this is even when i've already resigned myself to dying for english and math. math hasn't even started. that's oen of the most terrifying aspect that i am struggling to deal with at the present moment.

i need to survive tomorrow and the two weekends. i need to survive. i don't know how.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 10:46 PM

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

and so it begins tomorrow. the mad rush towards the finishing line. much like the second transformers movie, it is non-stop action all the way, with hardly a moment to rest.

midyears. once over, ioc. once over, preparations for prelims, then prelims. once over, it's just straight to the ib exam.

ioc instills great fear into my heart. it shakes the very core that resides in me, threatening to shatter it and along with it the rest of my body.

two more weeks plus one more day. one by one. mathmathmathdiediedie. i shall just trudge through i guess. and try to take things one at a time, painful step by painful step. hopefully at the end of it all, i'll still be able to watch transformers (again) hahaha.

i shall try to muggerfy myself.

that's what i told myself at least 4 weeks ago. i failed.

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 11:04 PM

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Saturday, June 20, 2009

and so yesterday was my sister's 21st birthday party. at the tea party (sixth avenue centre).

i hoped she enjoyed it. it certainly seemed like she did. most of the people present were those she spend a lot of time with. acjc choir. a few from her secondary school days. another group from the young adults and of course there was family! like beyond immediate family. cousins and stuff. haha hopefully that would have been one of the happiest days of her life, or at least this year :D

well it was a rather fun thing to attend i guess. towards the end playing taboo. that's what made it fun. if not it would have just been another forgettable event. ah well.
food was good :D

i wonder what would happen when i turn 21. would my circle of my friends be similar to what it is at the moment?

okay watching tv has derailed my train of thought hahaha.

whoo i love watching tv!

sc

whimsical nonsense @ 11:38 PM

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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

i shall blog a post that is actually before 12 midnight.

lately i've been noticing a trend that when i blog, i'll always finish typing past 12 and it is kind of irritating because it screws up the date since i set the time posted as the time i finish.

today has been an absolutely wasteful day. 4 hours at math tuition and i ended up with a headache. thankfully the bus ride was alright. long bus rides with a headache usually kills me. come to think of it, everything about the bus ride seems perfect. i didn't have to wait at all, neither did i have to rush. the bus just arrived as i came. it was a double decker bus, which is what i prefer for my 154 busrides home. the bus was emptyish! or at least the upper deck was. there was never more than 15 people i think at one go. that's what i like. i tried listening to copeland but after the first song, it didn't help my headache, so i decided to listen to secondhand serenade. whoo it just made the bus ride some perfect form of escapism from the horrifying world that i'm living in at the moment. by the way, the first album, awake. i don't really like the second album, it's bordering on dislike i guess?

bus ride:
- emptyish double decker bus. check
- good music. check
- sleep the headache away. almost, but good enough, so check.

my form of escapism for the day: check.

back to the horrors of reality tomorrow.

whimsical nonsense @ 11:59 PM

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